jokes bad or otherwise.

THOUGHTS ABOUT CATS

~ Behind every cat that crosses the street, there is a dog saying, "Go ahead, you can make it."

~ In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.

~ As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

~ There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.

~ Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.

~ Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.

~ There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

~ The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. (Hmmmm)
 
The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet.

She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently.

Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.

The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said.

"It's really nothing," he answered.

"The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."
 
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
 
Little Johnny and his mother returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. Little Johnny opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table.

"What are you doing?" his mother asked.

"It says not to eat them if the seal is broken," Little Johnny explained. "I'm looking for the seal."
 
Happy couple shopping ........................Wife "come along dear that was the last thing on my list ":) Husband staggering under the weight "thank the lord!":rolleyes:
Wife "Yes I've memorised the rest ".:oops::22:
 
A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has gone missing. The bear is angry and reports the theft to the foreman. The foreman grins at the bear and says “Oh, I forgot to tell you, today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked.”
 
Seen on the letters page...................
New BONNIE TYLER DVD .......How not to save Penalties !

Its totally clips of Joe Hart !:eyesroll:
 
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