SCOTS are still jetting off on their holidays.
Scott Barclay was at a Glasgow Airport food outlet at six in the morning when the Glaswegian holidaymaker in front asked: "Gies a roll 'n' bacon, egg and a potato scone."
"Sorry we have run out of rolls - we only have croissants left."
"Just stick it on a croissant then".
"Would you like a drink with that?"
"Aye, gies a mojito," says the bold lad.
"How very international," thinks Scott.
Foul...
POLITICS, and an English reader phones to tell us: "Although the UKIP party now accepts that bongo bongo land doesn't actually exist, I bet you it's still above Scotland in the FIFA world rankings."
Being dated
OUR story about dating reminds Michael McGinley of being technologically challenged in a west end of Glasgow coffee shop when he was told he could pay using his smartphone. Michael replied he didn't know how to. He says: "The young man serving replied that he too has been described as being old-fashioned recently. He had just gone on a date with someone whom he had not met online - a phenomenon that his friends found extremely unusual. The encounter was beautifully described by them as a 'flesh meet'."
For a tenner?
"MY wife says I'm unsophisticated and uncultured," said the chap in the Glasgow pub. "So to prove her wrong, guess where I'm taking her? I'll give you a hint - it starts with 'B' and rhymes with 'wallet'."