jokes bad or otherwise.

Bin Laden is standing before God waiting to hear his punishment... God gets a tap on the shoulder. There behind him stand 343 firemen, 72 police officers, one K9 officer, 3,000 American citizens & over 5,000 Soldiers, they say."Don't worry God, we've got this"
 
There's a girl at the bar rolling her eyes at me. I can't decide whether
I should roll them back or pick them up and hand them to her.
 
My mate has a personalised number plate on his car.
He had to change his name to TD52 UGF, but still.
 
So I hear they're thinking about making the death of Bin Laden a bank holiday.

So come on everybody, sing along, "WE'RE ALL GOING ON OSAMA HOLIDAY!"
 
They say revenge is a dish best served cold, and that revenge is sweet...
So revenge is ice cream then?
 
A white horse walks into a pub. Barman says to him, "There's a pub
down the road named after you."
Horse says, "What, Colin?"
 
I used to provide wild animals as extras for TV shows and films, but
got in trouble for giving the big cats a shampoo and blow dry.
They fired me for repeatedly fluffing my lions.
 
Every time I get to the end of my road a man is always there offering
me a cuppa.
Must be a tea junction.
 
A drunk walks into a chip shop,
"Have you got Terminator 4?"
"Sorry mate, this is a chippy"
"Ok, what about Die Hard 4.0?"
"Look pal, this is a chippy, now do you want anything to eat or not?"
"Yeah, give me a Fish called Wanda"
 
A woman walks into a Chemist shop and asks the pharmacist if the shop
sells extra-large condoms.
"Yes we do," he says. "Would you like to buy some?"
"No," she replies. "But do you mind if I wait around until someone
does?"
 
How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because real men aren't afraid of the dark
 
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