George Super Moderator Jun 27, 2011 #961 Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales; Lloysthwycyyrigridarbrewwthh... sorry there was a hair in my mouth. I went to Swansea.
Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales; Lloysthwycyyrigridarbrewwthh... sorry there was a hair in my mouth. I went to Swansea.
George Super Moderator Jun 27, 2011 #962 A man said to me"Do you believe in ghosts?" I said "No of course I don't you silly Elizabethan sailor"
A man said to me"Do you believe in ghosts?" I said "No of course I don't you silly Elizabethan sailor"
George Super Moderator Jun 27, 2011 #963 I've had trouble with yo-yo dieting, I haven't really lost any weight. Plus the string gets stuck in my teeth.
I've had trouble with yo-yo dieting, I haven't really lost any weight. Plus the string gets stuck in my teeth.
George Super Moderator Jun 28, 2011 #964 A market researcher stopped me and asked what was my favourite condiment. I said, "I'd never reveal my sauces."
A market researcher stopped me and asked what was my favourite condiment. I said, "I'd never reveal my sauces."
George Super Moderator Jun 28, 2011 #965 Been trying to work out why my pen wasn't working and it's just clicked...
George Super Moderator Jun 28, 2011 #966 I get a lot of splinters, I don't know why. Hopefully I won't get any more, touch wood.
George Super Moderator Jun 28, 2011 #967 My wife has said that she is fed up of having a bully in her bed. Tough, it's unique and signed by Jim Bowen.
My wife has said that she is fed up of having a bully in her bed. Tough, it's unique and signed by Jim Bowen.
George Super Moderator Jun 29, 2011 #968 I went to the doctors today. I said, "Doctor I've got a lump in my throat." He said, "When did you first notice it?" I said, "While watching Bambi."
I went to the doctors today. I said, "Doctor I've got a lump in my throat." He said, "When did you first notice it?" I said, "While watching Bambi."
George Super Moderator Jun 29, 2011 #969 My wife said she was going to need my full support at her mothers funeral. So I was there at the front waving my giant foam finger.
My wife said she was going to need my full support at her mothers funeral. So I was there at the front waving my giant foam finger.
George Super Moderator Jun 29, 2011 #970 I just got a letter of confirmation from the Royal Mail saying that I will be working for them. I start 3 years ago.
I just got a letter of confirmation from the Royal Mail saying that I will be working for them. I start 3 years ago.
George Super Moderator Jun 30, 2011 #971 My wife came home from work and found me crouched down in the wardrobe. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. "Narnia business" I replied.
My wife came home from work and found me crouched down in the wardrobe. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. "Narnia business" I replied.
George Super Moderator Jul 1, 2011 #972 I joined the Contrary Tramps Society last night. I beg to differ.
George Super Moderator Jul 1, 2011 #973 I went to the bank today to ask for a loan. "What do you need the money for sir" "It's for a car" "Oh nice what are you getting" "Just some unleaded"
I went to the bank today to ask for a loan. "What do you need the money for sir" "It's for a car" "Oh nice what are you getting" "Just some unleaded"
George Super Moderator Jul 1, 2011 #974 BBC News Astronomers have found a new bright galaxy billions of light years from Earth. Amazing, I can't even find the socks I bought last Tuesday.
BBC News Astronomers have found a new bright galaxy billions of light years from Earth. Amazing, I can't even find the socks I bought last Tuesday.
George Super Moderator Jul 1, 2011 #975 My wife got so fed up with my constantly describing situations with bad jokes,she threw ice-cream all over me and left. She desserted me.
My wife got so fed up with my constantly describing situations with bad jokes,she threw ice-cream all over me and left. She desserted me.
George Super Moderator Jul 1, 2011 #976 I applied for the job of village idiot, But they told me that I was over qualified.
George Super Moderator Jul 2, 2011 #977 "A double whiskey please." "I'm sorry sir, but I can't serve you." "Are you saying I'm drunk?" "No, I'm saying this is a shoe shop."
"A double whiskey please." "I'm sorry sir, but I can't serve you." "Are you saying I'm drunk?" "No, I'm saying this is a shoe shop."
George Super Moderator Jul 2, 2011 #978 I've just finished reading a book on Anti-Gravity. I couldn't put it down.
George Super Moderator Jul 3, 2011 #979 You should have seen the look of shock on the nudists faces when I ran right through the middle of their football match fully clothed.
You should have seen the look of shock on the nudists faces when I ran right through the middle of their football match fully clothed.
George Super Moderator Jul 3, 2011 #980 I've been watching a serial on TV about paint drying. Although most of the episodes were quite boring it did have a good finish.
I've been watching a serial on TV about paint drying. Although most of the episodes were quite boring it did have a good finish.
