Christmas Presents for SW Folk

J

jrt2345

Guest
Dead or Alive, what would you get them?

EDIE - A long length of newspaper tiles and carpet that goes around the whole house so Edie never has to put papers down! (Like a little path for him)

WESLEY - A brand new set of screwdrivers - So he can get up in middle of night just to look at em

WALLY - A gold plated pigeon to stand on his bedside table

NORA - A brand new broom, with softer bristles.

IVY - A recording of the usual routine, e.g. 'Oh, look, schools out. 3 Teas? That'll be 50p. And a bun each? That comes to £3.50. Now sit down, and don't move!' Saves her coming out.

All I can think of for now... What do you think..?
 
Howard... An invisible cloak to drift squeaklessly to Marina...

Marina... A dinky little car to save her from Bicycles and Sausage Rolls

Pearl... A housework Robot to keep Howard free and her satisfied...

Sid... A plastic silver tray to get his own back on Ivy! ;D

Clegg... A quiet book and a newspaper article cutout on how to prevent Howards from asking at your door for your help...

Truly... A new truncheon and a Cop Car to take those he sees as suspicious to his very own police station...

Compo... 'How To ACTUALLY Attract Women' by Foggy Dewhurst.

Foggy... A new office door sign and a new Hornby Train Set for 'Train Time'.

Auntie Wainwright... A set of 5 willing and regular customers who love spending money.

Smiler.. A new chair so he can just sit for hours IN COMFORT.

(The Love Mobile - 'What are your hobbies?' 'I like sitting'.)

Tom... A brand new house and a kennel for Waldo.

Barry... A new 62 Reg Ford Focus that cleans itself.

Waldo... A bag of toy bones and dentastix.

Glenda... A cuddly bear named 'Barry' to hug and cherish whilst Barry is at work.

The Golf Captain... A 'How To Keep Calm' book.

Miss Davenport... A man after Midnight.

Eli... A guide sheep and a beer making set.

Mr Wainwright... 'How To Behave In A Library'

Miss Probert... A set of Children's books and a dummy.

The Lad.... An Apple Making Machine and a Love Potion to attract women and offer them apples.

Milburn... A frock leather jacket and a Dummies Guide To Catering.

Davenport... A writing set and a 'How To Stay Away From Twits Like Foggy' book.

Seymour... A working door opening system that opens upon 'Codfanglers', plus a book on 'How To Punish School Children Without Using A Cane'.

Billy Hardcastle... A new set of bows and green leggings.

Billy Ingleton... A new MINI Countryman and a good book.

The PC's ;
Cooper - A new barbecue set and barbecue food.
PC 2 - A book.
Walsh - A sweater.

I will post more later.
 
Compo would get a new belt for his pants so he won't need to nick Nora's clothesline anymore.

Foggy would get an electronic daily planner / organizer so everything he does goes off with clockwork precision.

Clegg would get a new ironing board and iron, given his fondness of ironing clothes.

Sid and Ivy would get an assortment of crockery for the cafe.

Wesley would get a new set of wrenches.

Edie would get a year's supply of degreaser to clean up Wesley's oily footprints in the kitchen.

Nora would get a new yard brush and clothes prop, and a year's supply of laundry detergent.

Wally would get new cages to house his pigeons.

Eli would get lasik surgery so he wouldn't need to wear those ridiculous glasses anymore.

Howard would get a new bicycle.

Marina would get whatever junk Howard buys from Auntie Wainright's shop.

Truly would get a new trenchcoat to replace his old one.

Entwistle would get one of those specialized tools for cutting and stripping electrical wires.

Alvin would get one of Entwistle's refurbished washing machines.

Seymour would get a government patent for one of his wacky inventions.

Blamire, I must admit, would be tough to shop for. I can't quite figure out what he would like.
 
Compo - a trained ferret to ring Nora's bell

Clegg - an electrified mat to keep Howard off his doorstep

Foggy - a walking cane that secrectly converts to a sniper's rifle
 
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