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What has 4 legs and goes boo?? A cow with a cold ! :08:

You vain little beggar , you had your photo took at school !:eyesroll:

Just cos you're UGLY and repulsive ! :42:

Had to sit through this programme ,on the telly ,quite a lot when my late wife was alive . She loved JOAN HICKSON as Miss Marple..I wish I could get to see Sarah as Miss Marple . I'm sure my wife would have loved it.I cannot go because of old age and illness. Maybe it will be on telly quite...

What do's a nut say if it sneezes ??..................CASHEW !:fp:

I used to like doing some ironing, (records on,singing my socks off ) Then the family got me a cleaner twice a week I let her do the ironing and I get a visit from her so I am in touch with my family who know her well. I wont be on my own all week while they are all at work. Add some good...

In an ideal world , everyone would be a perfectionist !:08:

People always used to think of me as a strong , silent type. Until they twigged that most of the time I wasn't really listening !:08: :22:

I used to go out with a girl who worked in a quilt and pillow factory Trouble was ,she was always talking down to me !:fp::eyesroll:

Why did the student drop out of Communism class? Because of lousy Marx!:fp:

What do cows tell each other at bedtime??...................Dairy stories ! :08:

What cheese surrounded a mediaeval castle ? ....................MOATzarella! :08:

Walk up and down ! How do you feel? Clegg..................."QUEASY !":eyesroll:

Its PRISCILLA with her curtain rod !:D

As we used to say in these parts " old age and poverty is catching up "! What programme did he appear as a bus passenger ?? Was it a Summer Wine ??:confused2::3x:

The one where he's passenger on a bus ? I forgot which programme it was tho':confused2:

Did you see in that car ? A MUMMY ! What a single parent ??:confused2:

What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.?? PHAROAH ROCHER !:fp:

What cheese can you use to disguise a horse ?? Mascarpone !:08:

All them steady KNITTERS up there Gods not going to have holes in his jumpers !!:42: