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  1. M

    Serves us right

    "My wife shrinks my underpants !!"... " You mean they shrunk in the wash "... "No.....I mean my wife shrinks my underpants !!!"... " Why would she do that ?".... " It's deepy Freudian......I don't want to into that !!!"... "Are they jockey shorts ?"... " They are now !!!!!".....then the pair see...
  2. M

    Top 10 Non Roy Clarke tv shows

    Only Fools [especially the "Jolly Boys","Dates" and"Yuppie Love" era and onwards] Still Game. Auf Wiedersehen Pet [specifically series 2...the greatest series I have EVER seen on any comedy/drama.......perfection] Father Ted. Rab C Nesbitt. Young Ones. On The Buses. Whatever happened to the...
  3. M

    Wallpapering; the great Yorkshire passion killer.

    SMILER : "WELL...EEEEZ TALE AND 'ANSOME !!!!"... IVY : " WHAT DO I WANT TALL AND 'ANSOME \AT MY AGE.....UNLESS HE CAN WALLPAPER A CEILING !!!!"
  4. M

    Barry's Ties

    As our scruffy hero said as Cleggy was ironing his tie/belt and he was perusing which horse to lose money on.........."THERE'S A LOT OF WEAR IN A TIE !!!!"
  5. M

    Pyjamas

    I thought Bobby was an excellent [mini] addition to our show.......he brought a manic madness to both his Swan Man and his Escapologist roles !!!.....it is such a shame Roy did not use him more. You could see a genuine bond with the other actors....and you could see he absolutely loved being...
  6. M

    So sad Pikey , last man on duty with the Platoon , passes away

    And he played the very nervous home security man who came to measure up for a security alarm when Richard forget their wedding anniversary in another one of " our Roy's" genius programmes..."keeping up appearances" !!!!....remember...she made him take his shoes off...and he ran to his car with...
  7. M

    So sad Pikey , last man on duty with the Platoon , passes away

    "VOT IZ YOUR NAME ??". "DON'T TELL HIM PIKE !!".
  8. M

    Motorcycle Gear

    Our scruffy hero when he swapped clothes with Wally so Wally and Eli could have a swift bevvy....."WALLY BATTY...THAT'S WHO IT IS !!!" exclaimed Eli outside the White Horse as Wally approached on his motorbike. Comp then "became" Wally and hung up Nora's new "top quality" clothes line,because as...
  9. M

    Your favourite quotes from Last Of The Summer Wine. I'll begin

    " OH NO !!!...IT'S PEARL IN A SUBMARINE !!!!". "HAPPY BOXING DAY IVY". "AND A WAY OF DRESSING WOUNDS WITH SPIDERS WEBS". "I WISH I HAD A POUND FOR EVERY JAP I HAVE SHOT OUT OF A TREE....AT LEAST I THOUGHT THEY WERE JAPS...THEY COULD HAVE BEEN WORKERS FOR THE BURMESE TELEPHONE COMPANY". "WHY...
  10. M

    Can you speak BBC "RP" English?

    The greatest man who fooled millions for 3 decades was Bill Owen [a.k.a. our favourite scuffy urchin !!!]......EVERY single person who has ever watched our show would think he was a born and bred wooly hat wearing,ferret breeding,chain smoking,women chasing Yorkshireman......until that horrific...
  11. M

    Favorite Howard ideas?

    My favourite "I think we've really cracked it this time" moment is when our 2 love birds are in the boat....on the riverbank....dressed as fishermen.....Howard has a fiendish plan to go nightfishing....when he eventually summons up the courage to handle maggots.....Marina consumed with passion...
  12. M

    Moodyblue to HAPPY BLUE !!!!

    MY GEORDIE BROTHER !!!.......the really corrupt thing about it all is that the £19.50 million we lost was money spent on the new ground...not players....so we had no sporting advantage [unlike certain other teams]. It's the same with the Toon....Sky DO NOT WANT YOU TO BREAK INTO THE "SKY6"...
  13. M

    Moodyblue to HAPPY BLUE !!!!

    I am just popping the cork on my 3rd bottle of champers because Jurgen Klopp has just announced he will be leaving "THEM" at the end of the season !!!!. Being a Moody Blue and not even having Tomato Sause in my house because of the colour you can imagine my glee !!!.....however...in my City...
  14. M

    The Beatles

    MAJOR CLAIM TO CLAIM FOLKS !!!!!........ Ringo Starr's mum [Elsie] used to baby sit me when I was a baby !!!!!. Elsie was great friend's with my gran [who brought me up]. She lived on 1 side of Park Road Dingle [Madryn Street] and we lived on the other side [Eridge Street]. She would have been...
  15. M

    Shrivelling

    Talking of "shrivellers"...remember Compo in the cafe when Cleggy put those milkbottle bottle thick glasses on him....and he did an amazing BLINK....Cleggy challenged him to repeat the feat to which our scruffy hero replied " DO YOU WANT THE ECONOMY OR THE SUPER BLINK ?"......Cleggy left it up...
  16. M

    Lincolnshire Towns

    In "Adopted by a stray" when Mr.Broardbent [or Mr.Broadstairs as Compo called him !!!] said he wanted to find "the wilderness" he stated that it had to be somewhere empty with just wildlife.......to which Cleggy answered "SOUNDS LIKE LIVERPOOL !!!!!!!". Being a proud resident of that wonderful...
  17. M

    Huddersfield or Wuhan?

    "YOUV'E A FINE MIND MISS MOODY"...... "I THINK LIKE YOU MR.WAINWRIGHT"...... "ELLIOT'S WASTELAND IS DEPRESSINGLY REAL" "I KNOW....I CAN'T BELIEVE THE COUNCIL HAVEN'T SLAPPED A COMPULSARY PURCHASE ON IT !!!!!" X!
  18. M

    Summerwine folk and Animals

    Pearl did a bird impression when she "persuaded" Howard to help her clean Cleggy's house while he was out....."i'Il go TWEET,TWEET,TWEET".....then when he silently mouthed "tweet tweet tweet" his little face contorted with anger she seemed to do a loud "SQUAWK !!!!" to which he sprung into...
  19. M

    Aunties Prices

    She charged the lady who thought her husband was looking for more than earthquakes 30 bob for the hire of a bicycle at the "winter rate" which included the free hire of a waterproof hat...she actually complemented the lady [believe it or not !!!!]....she said " I SEE YOU KNOW THE VALUE OF A...
  20. M

    Summerwine folk and Animals

    It was "Rip" who got petrified by the "old breed" that Billy had hiding in the bushes in the park that Billy called Dino......which was infact the Dinosaur that Barry won.....that Glenda would not let him keep.....that became Marina's birthday prezzy,,,,,which then became Pearl's birthday prezzy...
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