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I know we shouldn't get political on this forum but I've never been in favour of the EU or the so called 'Nanny State' where politicians restrict our personal choices. Manufacturers should be able to use whatever connector they chuffing well like and if consumers don't like it, they won't buy...

I've decided to marry a pencil, can't wait to introduce the parents to my bride 2B.

Cadbury's Dairy Milk

But not in the UK.

Adam West.

Babs - continue her singing career.

Most supermarkets sell Hot Cross Buns all year round.

Why a man should ever want to marry is a mystery. Why a man should want to marry two women is a bigamistery.

Barry - stroke a penguin.

There's a new Elbow tribute band around, called 'Arse', they're so good you can't tell them apart.

The car in the facebook photo looks far too blue to be Richard's car.

I thought Richard's Rover was silver.

Embroidery needles.

Picture from facebook.

What is Santa’s favourite kind of pizza? One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even.

I was so disappointed after travelling all that way to see the Great Wall of China, it wasn't made of china at all.

His quiver

Is the fear of getting stuck in a chimney Santaclaustrophobia?

I saw a Dutch guy with shoes that had built in satnav, bloody clever clogs.

Wellies