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You have been sadly missed my Scottish brother !!!!......I have been lying awake at night puzzling over questions that only the "SUMMERWINE GEEEEEENIUS" can answer.......you are like the Caledonian Roy Clarke !!!......and we all love you dearly for it !!!. X!

"ZE HUMAN FLY STICKS TO ANY SURFACE !!!!!". X!

In the immortal words of a Scouse Tina Turner !!!....."SIMPLY THE BEST....BETTER THAN ALL THE REST !!!!!". X!

If you all remember our "scruffy little hero" "LIKED A BIT OF BLOOD !!!!".....[he then explained me meant BLACK PUDDIN' !!!]......when "Florence Nightingale Dewhurst" started to get all squeamish at the thought of a motorist covered in the red stuff in the wonderful episode "In the service of...

Firstly [and most importantly] my Geordie mate....CONGRATULATIONS ON REACHING WEMBLEY !!!!!!......now you must do yer 'arld Scouse docker mate a BIIIIIIIIIG FAVOUR.......and beat those dirty stinkin' reds !!!!!. I love Edie's "drink yer coffee"....and Alvin's "direct descendant".......it's just...

I often wonder how [and why] our hero Mr.Clarke wrote Hobbo's famous "THE WHEEL !!!....THE WHEEL!!!...IS MY FOOT ON THE WHEEL ????" running gag ?.........it was the last series equivalent of "I AM A DIRECT DECENDANT OF ROBIN HOOD......ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE....SHE WAS A BRISTOW !!!...[if I had a...

In the [in my humble opinion] greatest ever episode....1989's "JOLLY BOYS OUTING".....when he is asked what a female swan is called at the beginning of their game of "trivial pursuit" at Cassandra's dinner party..[to impress her horrible boss from "the bank"]......Albert says "three...

It's a good job you haven't heard me talk then !!!!....."B R O A R D Scouse.....delivered like a machine gun !!!!"......PROPER SCOUSE !!!!.....to some it would sound like a foreign language !!!......as would a working class native of "CAPTAIN CLUTTERBUCKLAND !!!!"......A TRUE GEORDIE...

It shatters my illusion and smashes my dreams that OUR SHOW IS REAL........and not just a show when I HEAR BILL TALK !!!......I WANT HIM TO SOUND LIKE COMPO SOOOOOOOOO MUCH !!!!...[ I am filling up as I type this !!!!!!] For someone to say BARTH instead of BATH should be labelled as a criminal...

I would rather walk around Liverpool Docks with a stone in my steel toe capped boot than watch a "remake" of our beloved cherished show........ you simply cannot improve ABSOLUTE PERFECTION !!!!.......END OF !!!!!. X!

I think Mrs'P's worst "journey" took her along the railway line.....or should I say......driving ON the railway line !!!.,,,,IT STILL BAFFLES ME HOW SHE GOT ON IT.....AND BAFFLES ME EVEN MORE HOW SHE GOT OFF IT !!!!. X!

I LOVE YER PEARL !!!!!!! X! X! X! X!.......there yer go !!!....myth dispelled !!!!. X! X! X! X!

THANK YOU MY AMERICAN BROTHER !!.....to the rest of you.....be warned...I know where you all live !!!!. X!

Come on everyone !!!...I am not a Scouse chauvinist !!.....I need a little support here !!!.....if I don't get some soon I will scream and scream and scream until I'm sick !!.....on your heads be it !!!!. X!

Pearl........Howard was 16 when he was "pining away" for a 30 year old showgirl.....and let's be brutally honest.....throughout their decades of "philandering" I think Howard actually kissed Marina maybe twice......hardly "philandering"........and as far as we are all aware he only had a...

"Stability...three meals a day...and all your thinking done for you !!!"....a quote from our favourite philosophy student !!....[a.k.a. Cleggy...the man with a masters degree in "The University Of Life"]....."not a bad deal for cleaning a few windows"....BUT.....really speaking.....did Howard...

As the West Yorkshire's answer to FRED ASTAIRE.....done up to the nines in "Must Be Good Dancer"......he tried to be elegant......but crashes through the roof of the milk float !!!!.......with his lonnnnnnngggggg legs dangling !!!.

Looking all beef cakey and ripped as "MUSCLE MAN...THE OVEN CLEANER".......he certainly impressed Wesley and Howard !!. X!

"him with steeeeel fingers"......."him who walks like panther"..."him who makes darkness safe for little people".......[I KNOW OUR RESIDENT GEEEEENIUS ROGER WILL GIVE US THE EPISODES....in fact..... I have one that describes Roger "HE WHO KNOWS.......EVERYTHING !!!!!"]. X! X! X!

Never trust a man who wears his undies over his kecks !!!!!!!. X!.