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Went to the doctor yesterday and he asked me if obesity runs in m family? I told him no one runs in my family

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later a cow walked up carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"...

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

An old cowboy walks into a barbershop for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the...

Why is it when I eat a 2 oz chocolate bar, I always gain a pound...but when I choose NOT to eat the same bar, I don't lose a pound???

Patient: "Doctor, doctor! I keep seeing spots before my eyes!" Doctor: "Have you seen an ophthalmologist?" Patient: "No, just spots."

In the days when the exhibition was in the basement of a building in Huddersfield Road and consisted of mainly photograph there was a list there which I copied about 1992. It seems however that that list was filming order not showing order and this has given rise to anomalies and things like...

I recall there was a 30th anniversary book produced by Morris Bright and Robert Ross which listed some more detail. Last time I looked it was on offer for a few points on the used book market.

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a few minutes, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!" The plumber grinned...

Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."

Two friends drove by a gas station. The first one says, "These prices are awful. They just keep going higher!" The second replies, "It doesn't affect me at all. I always put in just $20 worth."

Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He said, "The trouble with the world today is that some people have too much and others have too little. We must give of ourselves and our worldly goods to help the less fortunate." He said to Paddy, "If you...

Does reading on the beach make you well-red?

And some more Q: Are people jealous of the Irish? A: Sure, they're green with envy. Q: What would you get if you crossed Quasimodo with an Irish football player? A: The Halfback of Notre Dame. Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? A: Because they're very short-tempered. "I...

Bit late I know ST. PATRICK'S DAY GROANERS Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? A: Real rocks are too heavy. Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? A: Because they're always a little short. Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? A: He's Dublin...

In the service of humanity

My condolences too Pearl

How much???

Agree, sad loss and taken too early.

Bit like Billy Bunter's postal order ....:35::35::35: