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My mate spent 4 years in jail for something he didn't do. Run

I'm glad that whoever came up with "No means no" wasn't in charge of the definitions in the dictionary

My wife wanted a dog but I didn't, so we compromised. We've now got a dog.

I had my first bus driving lesson today. So far I've learned how to drive straight past a crowded bus-stop when it's raining, pull out when I see a cyclist trying to pass and how to do an emergency stop when old people are trying to walk down the aisle.

My son thinks you're right Terry and as soon as he can he will sort it for me. Thanks everyone for the help

On the forum.There are adverts for William Hill,Sky and at the moment Asda.They change all the time

Why have I got adverts on the home page?

This new set up is doing my head in.I think I may just read the posts now and participate less.

To get over my obsession, I threw away all the books I'd collected on Dusty Springfield Now I just don't know what to do with my shelf

What are your pet hates? or as Compo might say "What gets on your wick?"

This fella is on safari in Africa when he comes across an elephant lying on the ground, in distress. He investigates and finds a thorn in its foot. He removes it, and the elephant trots merrily away. Twenty years on, the man is standing in the street in London watching a circus procession pass...

The wife and I were having a massive row. "I'm so disappointed in you," she said. "When we got married I thought you were a brave man." "Yes," I replied, "and so did all my my friends."

I'm going to the gym now. I'm not bragging I just want you to know where to send the ambulance

I was doing 80mph today when I drove into the back of a stationary van. Luckily, he was doing 75mph, so the only damage was a couple of creased A4 notepads in the back.

I wonder if the inventor of Viagra realises that he made it big

I watched curling for a few hours today and I must say I found it very boring. Plus the women kept giving me funny looks through the hairdressers window.

"If one of us dies," My mate said to his wife, "I'm going to buy a dog."

Re: Beth and Pearl-Susan's 80's look. No laughing!! We don't have a sense of humour! Me too :'(

When it comes to manners and behaviour you seem to be 'old school' like me. Is that right?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/welly-wally-who-wears-boots-3138946