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"Tell the truth." The wife demanded, "Does this make me look too fat?" "Err.. n..no." I stumbled. "It's.. It's ok." "Oh good." She replied. "As long as I don't look ridiculous." "Hang on”, I said “you didn't ask me THAT.

That's difficult because I love watching all kinds of films.I'm a John Wayne fan and I love CGI films. I think if I had to pick an alltime favourite it would be 'Scrooge' with Alastair Sim. For overall awesomeness I think the very first time I saw 'Jaws' For sheer magic 'Snow White and the 7...

What an excellent (but difficult) question. Bill Owen-Is there anything about the way he played Compo that he would change Peter Sallis - Do you think the show went on too long? Brian Wilde - Did he ever regret Leaving the show,the first time. Cleggy - Did you never regret not thumping Howard

Great question Terry. I think it would be Roy Clarke.I tried a bit of writing years ago and know how hard it is,but to do it as much and so consistently well for so long is genius..He must be permanently listening to and observing people. Mind you he's probably a nightmare to try and have a...

2 more appointments for next week.On Tuesday I go for an ECG and on Wednesday an Endoscopy. They certainly aren't messing about. I don't know whether to be pleased or worried lol

Went for my scan this morning.We thought we'd get there nice and early and it turns out I was also down for an ultra sound scan,which I knew nothing about.Everything was okay with the ultra sound except would you believe I have gallstones. I have to wait for the result of the chest scan...

Excellent question. I think I would put more money into the NHS and give nurses a good pay rise. I know nothing about politics so I don't want to cause any rows but there are a lot of hard working people on the breadline and to me that's not rght

Happy birthday!!!!!

As soon as I can. I will ;-)

Whenever I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we as a society have come in equality. And then I wait for the next bus.

I was just told by someone to stop being so unsavoury. I thought that's sweet.

When it comes to messing up simple sayings, I've been there, done that, got the tea bag.

Not too bad,thanks Amoss. I went to my first pulmonary rehab yesterday (Thursday) and managed the exercises without my oxygen levels dropping too low.Although I felt totally drained at the end I thoroughly enjoyed it.I'm looking forward to going back on Monday afternoon.On Monday morning I have...

What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.

I hate tacos. Said no Juan ever

Carbolic does it for me (I was going to put your name at the end of that sentence but it would have looked very rude.

I called the manager over last night and said, "I've just taken a bite of this fish and it tastes disgusting." "I'm not surprised," he replied, "Please leave the pet shop immediately."

As we are like family I thought I'd update you on things. I went to see the consultant today and he is starting the ball rolling for me to be considered for a lung transplant. He says I must lose some weight and attend 6 weeks of pulmonary rehab to strengthen the muscles needed to cope with an...

That's really nice to know Darin,thank her for me.

"Eastenders" Why else would it contain so many comedians.