I went to the Doctors and said to the receptionist,
"When do you think the doctor will be able to see me?"
She smiled and said, "As soon as you walk in the room, he's not blind."
I said to my wife, "I know you're worried about losing your looks, so try this beauty treatment." Handing her a carrier.
She opened it and said, "There's nothing in it."
I said, "I know, just pop the bag over your head."
My wife asked, "If I died tomorrow, how long would you wait before sleeping with another woman?"
I said, "10 years."
"Aww really, why?" she smiled.
I said, "They'd probably let me out on parole by then."
I've read 'Plumbing for idiots' twice and I still haven't got a clue what I'm doing.
I guess it's going to take another few reads before this sinks in.
My life's been a living hell ever since all my numbers came up on the lottery.
Everywhere I go in town , I see them pointing and whispering:
"That's him - the daft sod that lost his lottery ticket."
Just watched an ad for gold coins.The fella walks up to a woman in a bookshop and shows her the coin book.
The lady seemed familiar and after some thought I'm sure it is Joanne Heywood,who played Dilys in First of the Summer Wine.
What do you think?
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