A quiet little place.

[Peripheral]

I have reached the age where I am now ready for a bit of peace and quiet. I have found a piece now I hope she will keep quiet. Actually, I am giving serious thought to moving to a quiet little village where noise has been abolished. I have found a little village that sounds ideal, it's a small place in the middle of nowhere called Much Shushing In The Marsh. It is so quiet there that you can hear a butterfly blink five hundred yards away and all the centipedes have to wear carpet slippers. All the TV programmes are transmitted in sign language and friends in the street have to converse by means of pencil and paper. There are, of course, some drawbacks, for example, if you need to break wind, you have to cycle to the next village six miles away to let nature take its' course. You may have seen that village on TV, it's a quaint little place called Trumpton. It is owned by an American billionaire who made his money selling disinfectant. He claims that if you drink his product your expelled gases will not pollute the atmosphere. Because of the need to cycle six miles in order to break wind, the sale of baked beans in Much Shushing In The Marsh is extremely low. I was told about this place by a very rich dentist who makes rubber false teeth called G.N. Asher. Is that an appropriate name for a set of false teeth? Listen, what is that horrendous noise I can hear? OH HECK, IT'S SNOWING.

 

[captain clutterbuck]

Appears Peri it has its very own anthem which you must sing when the Mayor approaches

At Much shushing in the marsh,
I must say I'm glad that this is over,
At Much shushing in the marsh,
If only we could rest we'd be in clover,
I tell you what, lets make the others come here and reherse,
I only hope the whole thing doesn't go from bad to worse,
So Peri, Yes Sir, Dudley Sir, lets have the second verse

At Much shushing in the marsh,
At Much shushing in the marsh,
Thank goodness both those twerps have now departed.
At Much shushing in the marsh,
At last the two of us can now get started,
I think I'll get the bus and go to Trumpton for a show,
Though Mr Terry and Mrs Pearl might'en let you go,

Trumpton has a similar anthem but there are no words just some sounds very dexterously created.