Peripheral
Dedicated Member
Well what a twenty four hours it has been news-wise. What with the trial in America and the upset brought up in football the news about my aunt Ada's new choppers seems so irrelevant. Her old ones had become so dingy looking, a mixture of green, grey and gritty. I tell you, they were so bad that when she smiled her cake-hole looked like a very old graveyard. One expected to see Michael Jackson to suddenly appear from behind the front row singing 'Thriller'. The local undertaker had approached her several times to try and persuade her to let him take a photo of her teeth so that they could be used in an advert for his coffins and 'End of Life' place of rest. She did finally succumb to his wishes and a photographer called to take a 'SNAP' of her teeth. When everything was set he held up his hand and shouted 'SMILE'. Aunt Ada obliged and the sight of her choppers was just too much for the photographer. He ran away screaming and has never been seen since. Aunt Ada did finally get some new choppers and she had them fitted not long after the jury reached a verdict about the trial. She was so excited that she let out a big yell and her new gobblers were expelled from their new home, her cakehole, and projected towards her pet dog Scamp. The teeth clamped on the dog's tail and I don't mean the tail he wags. He let out a yelp, charged out into the street and bit two football supporters carrying a placard which read, 'ESL....HANDS OFF OUR FOOTBALLERS'. The sign fell to the ground and Scamp peed on it which unfortunately washed away some of the lettering, the letters FOOT and ER to be precise. The clever ones among you will be very quick to see what was left of the sign. As I said, my aunt Ada's chopper news is somewhat irrelevant compared with what has been happening. 
