Moggie Moo
Dedicated Member
Episode 3
WHAT THE DICKENS IS OLD YELLOW EYES DOING BACK ?
The turkey had made peace with Ivy and Sid on this Christmas day.The dinner party had been sated, so it was suggested that they move into the front parlour for the more comfortable surroundings. Ivy asked Compo " Can you bank the fire up? there's plenty of cobs in the scuttle, then wash your hands before we all get settled." " Aye lass, I don't want to leave any tell tale finger prints if I should just happen to pass under the mistletoe." he laughed as he picked out some larger cobs and placed them on the healthy embers. Nora brought in some sliced Christmas Cake with fingers of cheese and placed them with some small plates on the occasional table that Sid had put out between the circle of chairs. There were two wheel back carvers, an armchair either side of the fire place and a small two seater settee to complete the encampment as Sid called it, as he went to the cupboard of the sideboard to take out a bottle of port and several glasses. Wally was fiddling with the radio dial trying to find the carol service. " I think I've got it" He drawled as 'God rest you merry gentlemen' started to eke out of the radio. " Turn it up" said Sid as he started to settle himself in his armchair to the left of the fireplace. The port and glasses were on the table beckoning for Sid to cork and pour.
Nora and Wally sat together on the settee, Compo eagerly stuck himself in the other armchair to the right of the fireplace. Cleggy and Blamire came into the room rolling down their sleeves after helping with the washing up. " By eck, its been some years since I was in the kitchen police, we'd been moved into Burma, scraping curried stew pans because the sarge heard me cursing the flaming captain. The sarge said we all had to do our bit, because a sniper had disabled the cooks oppo whilst he was bending over in the cornbeaf tent. Two weeks I had to endure until his oppo's backside was fit for duty." Complained Blamire shaking his head. " Just as well the sniper was a bad shot or you might have been committed for the duration." laughed Cleggy. " I didn't mind kitchen duty, the grub was ok and yer blisters didn't hurt from all that marching about," chuckled Compo." I hope your keeping this conversation clean, this is a respectable parlour," enquired Ivy as she returned to the room, carrying a dish of nuts and a punnit of dates. She found room for them on the table as Cleggy sat next to Sid, and Blamire reluctantly placed himself next to Compo. " Don't you be fidgeting about you tatty person, I remember when we went to the pictures you couldn't keep still, I lost count of the amount of times the Mexican Admiral had to be summond to you," Blamire said, staring at Compo. " It wasn't my fault me ferret used to get out, he didn't like the dark." laughed Compo. " I think your ferret liked the dark as much as you liked soap and water," chuntered Nora. Cleggy piped up " Scraping pans? If it wern't for the 'P's you would think a scrapping pan would be secret weapon or something. Imagine hurling scrapping pans over into enemy lines what damage that would inflict, what a scrap that would be." " BARMPOT" they all replied in unison. Sid stood up and poured out the port, he said to the company, " help yourselves to a top up when your ready, we've got a few bottles in the sideboard, besides I'am not the chuffing waitor" " come on sit down, I'll pass your pipe and baccy, lets all get comfy and listen to the carols," insisted Ivy as she sat on Sids chair arm, slightly leaning against him. " I'll agree to that, lets sit in common sense and listen to this carol its my favourite," chirped Nora as 'Once in Royal Davids City' whispered on the Christmas ether. She said, " It reminds me of when I used to go to my gran's at Chistmas, when they had the farm at Upper Thong, they had a lonely cattle shed." She took another sip of port and with her eyes glazed a smile started on her face. Wally looked at Blamire, who inturn looked at Wally. Wally rolled his eyes upward to a silent tut and Blamire smiled. Then Clunk! Total darkness, the lights went out."Oh flamming eck! another power cut." groused Sid. Compo and Wally were up looking out of the window. Wally drawled " Aye the street lights are out." " and her across is lighting her candles, you can see right in to her parlour," chuckled Compo. In the darkness Ivy had gone to the sideboard to get out some candles. Compo lit a cigarette to which Blamire griped, " If he'd been in the trenches they would have shot him by now, aimed at that cigarette. They would have shot him for not offering them around." " Its me last one" defended Compo. " Perhaps he's right, you know they were in short supply in 1914. Maybe we should have asked him for some of that chocolate they got sent at Christmas." laughed Cleggy. Ivy lit a candle and placed it on the mantel, she placed another on the side board then one on the table. "That'll do" she said as she sat down again with Sid. Wally and Compo made there way back to their seats, " hey up Nora, tha should be up with tha tourch doing some usheretting instead of being sat on the back seat with Wally." Chuckled Compo as he sat down " If I was doing some usheretting I would be ushering you out of the door."sparked Nora. " Now now, this is a respectable parlour so behave yourselves," demanded Ivy. In the glow of the fire and candles a silence resumed. Sid took a draw of his pipe and said in jovial spirit, " You know this reminds me of those Victorian, Dickensian times. When they had a proper Christmas, with no frills and practically nothing else. They just celebrated the day in its true meaning. It wasn't advertised four weeks before, you didn't need to order any extra cream, you got one day off instead of two and an apple and an orange if you were lucky." Sid sat there with an ecstatic smile on his face when Compo broke the silence with, " Please sir can we have some more," as they all broke out in laughter. Wally intervened " They always used to have a good ghost story those Dickensians, frightened me no end when I was a nipper." " Aye that's right" enthused Sid," and not just ghostly going on's but all that supernatural stuff as well, they were blinking lucky in that way to have all that to scare the living daylights out of them." he said excitingly. " Thats true " interupted Blamire. He continued, " Remember, I told you about being a fan of Anne Shelton? Well one night in my barrack bunk I woke up just after midnight. I could sense a presence. I opened my eyes and looked up towards the bed head. There she was! Anne Shelton. She had her rollers in and wore a head scarfe sat by my pillow. She lit a Woodbine and blew out the smoke. I reached out to cadge a drag when she moved back and whispered,"No Cyril you will have to wait until you come home," then she vanished. I checked my senses to see if I was a wake. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. To this day I believe she was with me all that time in Burma watching over me. Every time she came on the radio I would say to myself here's my angel, knowing I would be safe." "You'd think if she was going visiting she would have done her hair." said Ivy. Nora asked " What colour was her head scarfe?" Compo chuckled," Perhaps she only had one Woodbine and didn't want to hang around to get shot." " They used to say, light up life with a Woodbine when things were looking miserable." scoffed Cleggy. "Thats why I took up the pipe, a Woodbine cheered you up but they were a bit too harsh for me," sighed Sid. " Well I wasn't tall enough to smoke, so I resisted it, but it was a waste of time, I didn't get any taller," drawled Wally. Nora leaned forward to take a slice of cake and a finger of cheese, pointing to her glass for Wally to give her a top up. " You can't beat a nice piece of stong mature cheddar. I remember when I was a lad going up to Northowram delivering Hay with me dad on his horse and cart. We went to Whitley's farm, they made their own cheeses and dad always got a round to bring back for Christmas. Aye! one time old Mr. Whitley gave me a young Pidgeon fledgling. She was a beautiful bird, she reared me umpteen youngens. Aye she would fly in any weather, you know what its like up Queensbury Mountain, just like Halifax, always raining. It seemed that every time someone from Halifax came to our village they brought the bad weather with them. I think there must be some omen in that." laughed Wally as Nora, giving him a clip chastised " talking about damn birds again when we are in company." Sid laughed " I remember when I was about five or six me mother used to knit me and our kid short pants. They were warm enough in winter but when we used to fall off our sledges they would get soaked and the hems would be around our ankles by tea time. That was one good reason for getting to fifteen and earning some brass. I saved up for a couple of months and bought me self a pair of long flannel trouser. I mean you can't go out meeting lasses in short pants." " I don't see why not, you have nothing to hide!" Ivy Screeched out laughingly. "Hey ! how many glasses have you had?" enquired Sid as he turned to Ivy." Not as many as you tried to get me to drink on our first date." Ivy replied in a stern tone. Cleggy asked, " Sid, did you wear a knitted boiler suit for work or did you wear your short pants?" " No you wazzock me mother got a job lot of trouser from Sutcliffe's Almost New when it became necessary for me and our kid to hide our fundamentals." Scorned Sid. Compo replied," I never had that trouble, me mother always had plenty of stock on her rag barrow." " Aye and when she packed up, we know it was never bespoke, but I don't think she meant you to stop adding to your fashion collection." Scriked Blamire. " I'll have you know these trouser belonged to old Mr. Williams. Part of his best suit. He fought at Rorkes Drift you know," argued compo. " Aye and judging by the amount of holes contained there in, you'd get the impression he fought the Zulus wearing them." replied Blamire. Cleggy put in his four pennorth saying, " Anyone who can remove and replace old Mr. Williams's Zulu's trouser, deserves a Victoria Cross." Everyone laughed as another round of drinks was poured.
After a lull in the conversation and something had sunk into Compos head he asked," hey Norm, what does omen mean?" " Its a prophecy, perhaps of impending doom, or an indication of what's to come. A good omen, or a bad omen," replied Cleggy, sensing something momentous was about to come from Compo's mind." Oh " said a subdued Compo. There was a silence again as everyone waited in anticipation for Compo to say something. " There was this time," he started. " I was about seven, when we lived up Hough End, when the bailiffs started a friendship with me mam, they kept bringing her these bunches of writs, until one night she decided she'd had enough of them pestering her with summons and processes. We loaded up the cart and cleared out to my uncle Tommy's." Blamire shaking his head, looked at Cleggy and exclaimed, " he did a moonlight, never in my life have I been associated with moonlighters. Talk about heavenly bodies that move around the earth once a month, we've got one here that moved around this very town."
" Come on Compo tell us what happend then. We're all sat on the edge of our seats here," interjected Cleggy. Compo carried on with an air of bewilderment, " When we got settled at my uncle Tommy's, he said I should sleep up in the attic in the spare bed. There was some old army blankets up there and the bed being next to the chimney it would be quite cosy. I went up to bed, it was well after midnight. I got into bed. Tommy was right it was nice and cosy as my eyes started to close. I don't know how long I'd been asleep but I felt something sit or lay at the bottom of the bed. I said come on lass, thinking it was uncle's dog Lilly, but she did not move. I opened my eyes to see where she was, and there at the bottom of my bed was a pair of yellow eyes staring at me. I kept looking for a few seconds to make sure I wasn't seeing things, then fizzing eck! they moved to the door and went. My head was staight under those blankets. Listening for any movement I dropped off to sleep. In the morning I told my Mam and Aunty Elsie what I had seen. My Aunty, who was a bit of a phsychic told me it had been a warning for her of someones passing. Yellow eyes comes here now and again on such occasions. Chuffing eck I said make sure he knows where to go next time." Blamire piped up " what would you have done if it had been the bailiff." " I was ready to leg it anyway," chuckled Compo. Nora who was well ported now, swooned " He's one of my favourite singers, that Frank Sinatra." " That's blue eyes," laughed Wally. " I didn't see him in colour, we only had black and white films at our pictures, and your to involved with your birds to get me a colour television, ah! I can hear him now," she sighed. " I remember those bobby socks you wore Nora, much more appealing than those wrinkled stockings you've got on," laughed Compo. " Aye but I could croon a bit in the old days, I reckon thats what she liked me for, but I would have liked to have been a taller singer," boasted Wally. Sid turned and glanced at Ivy, who was nodding off. He began to whisper, "what attracted me to her was when she was model of the month in the caterers weekly," " You can stop it there, they don't want to hear the rest, this is a respectable front parlour." interupted Ivy abruptly. " Yes petal" succumbed Sid. Compo inquiringly said to Cleggy, " hey Norm, why can't we see ourselves as we were in this time?" " It's like this me old mate, we are not allowed to cross paths with our previous lives. They might have times when they think they have been or done something before. Thats called deja vu. Or perhaps they might get a glimps of our being present if we are near to them. Its all rather complicated, so much so that Blamire has not fathomed it yet," explained Cleggy. " Deja vu, I once backed that at York, came last," Chuckled Compo as they all burst into laughter.
"Pass me some of that cheese" said Cleggy. " I' am glad you didn't get that Lancashire cheese they had down the market last week, the only reason it was cheap was because it crumbles at the sight of traditional yorkshire spice cake. Cheers every one." chuckled Cleggy.
WHAT THE DICKENS IS OLD YELLOW EYES DOING BACK ?
The turkey had made peace with Ivy and Sid on this Christmas day.The dinner party had been sated, so it was suggested that they move into the front parlour for the more comfortable surroundings. Ivy asked Compo " Can you bank the fire up? there's plenty of cobs in the scuttle, then wash your hands before we all get settled." " Aye lass, I don't want to leave any tell tale finger prints if I should just happen to pass under the mistletoe." he laughed as he picked out some larger cobs and placed them on the healthy embers. Nora brought in some sliced Christmas Cake with fingers of cheese and placed them with some small plates on the occasional table that Sid had put out between the circle of chairs. There were two wheel back carvers, an armchair either side of the fire place and a small two seater settee to complete the encampment as Sid called it, as he went to the cupboard of the sideboard to take out a bottle of port and several glasses. Wally was fiddling with the radio dial trying to find the carol service. " I think I've got it" He drawled as 'God rest you merry gentlemen' started to eke out of the radio. " Turn it up" said Sid as he started to settle himself in his armchair to the left of the fireplace. The port and glasses were on the table beckoning for Sid to cork and pour.
Nora and Wally sat together on the settee, Compo eagerly stuck himself in the other armchair to the right of the fireplace. Cleggy and Blamire came into the room rolling down their sleeves after helping with the washing up. " By eck, its been some years since I was in the kitchen police, we'd been moved into Burma, scraping curried stew pans because the sarge heard me cursing the flaming captain. The sarge said we all had to do our bit, because a sniper had disabled the cooks oppo whilst he was bending over in the cornbeaf tent. Two weeks I had to endure until his oppo's backside was fit for duty." Complained Blamire shaking his head. " Just as well the sniper was a bad shot or you might have been committed for the duration." laughed Cleggy. " I didn't mind kitchen duty, the grub was ok and yer blisters didn't hurt from all that marching about," chuckled Compo." I hope your keeping this conversation clean, this is a respectable parlour," enquired Ivy as she returned to the room, carrying a dish of nuts and a punnit of dates. She found room for them on the table as Cleggy sat next to Sid, and Blamire reluctantly placed himself next to Compo. " Don't you be fidgeting about you tatty person, I remember when we went to the pictures you couldn't keep still, I lost count of the amount of times the Mexican Admiral had to be summond to you," Blamire said, staring at Compo. " It wasn't my fault me ferret used to get out, he didn't like the dark." laughed Compo. " I think your ferret liked the dark as much as you liked soap and water," chuntered Nora. Cleggy piped up " Scraping pans? If it wern't for the 'P's you would think a scrapping pan would be secret weapon or something. Imagine hurling scrapping pans over into enemy lines what damage that would inflict, what a scrap that would be." " BARMPOT" they all replied in unison. Sid stood up and poured out the port, he said to the company, " help yourselves to a top up when your ready, we've got a few bottles in the sideboard, besides I'am not the chuffing waitor" " come on sit down, I'll pass your pipe and baccy, lets all get comfy and listen to the carols," insisted Ivy as she sat on Sids chair arm, slightly leaning against him. " I'll agree to that, lets sit in common sense and listen to this carol its my favourite," chirped Nora as 'Once in Royal Davids City' whispered on the Christmas ether. She said, " It reminds me of when I used to go to my gran's at Chistmas, when they had the farm at Upper Thong, they had a lonely cattle shed." She took another sip of port and with her eyes glazed a smile started on her face. Wally looked at Blamire, who inturn looked at Wally. Wally rolled his eyes upward to a silent tut and Blamire smiled. Then Clunk! Total darkness, the lights went out."Oh flamming eck! another power cut." groused Sid. Compo and Wally were up looking out of the window. Wally drawled " Aye the street lights are out." " and her across is lighting her candles, you can see right in to her parlour," chuckled Compo. In the darkness Ivy had gone to the sideboard to get out some candles. Compo lit a cigarette to which Blamire griped, " If he'd been in the trenches they would have shot him by now, aimed at that cigarette. They would have shot him for not offering them around." " Its me last one" defended Compo. " Perhaps he's right, you know they were in short supply in 1914. Maybe we should have asked him for some of that chocolate they got sent at Christmas." laughed Cleggy. Ivy lit a candle and placed it on the mantel, she placed another on the side board then one on the table. "That'll do" she said as she sat down again with Sid. Wally and Compo made there way back to their seats, " hey up Nora, tha should be up with tha tourch doing some usheretting instead of being sat on the back seat with Wally." Chuckled Compo as he sat down " If I was doing some usheretting I would be ushering you out of the door."sparked Nora. " Now now, this is a respectable parlour so behave yourselves," demanded Ivy. In the glow of the fire and candles a silence resumed. Sid took a draw of his pipe and said in jovial spirit, " You know this reminds me of those Victorian, Dickensian times. When they had a proper Christmas, with no frills and practically nothing else. They just celebrated the day in its true meaning. It wasn't advertised four weeks before, you didn't need to order any extra cream, you got one day off instead of two and an apple and an orange if you were lucky." Sid sat there with an ecstatic smile on his face when Compo broke the silence with, " Please sir can we have some more," as they all broke out in laughter. Wally intervened " They always used to have a good ghost story those Dickensians, frightened me no end when I was a nipper." " Aye that's right" enthused Sid," and not just ghostly going on's but all that supernatural stuff as well, they were blinking lucky in that way to have all that to scare the living daylights out of them." he said excitingly. " Thats true " interupted Blamire. He continued, " Remember, I told you about being a fan of Anne Shelton? Well one night in my barrack bunk I woke up just after midnight. I could sense a presence. I opened my eyes and looked up towards the bed head. There she was! Anne Shelton. She had her rollers in and wore a head scarfe sat by my pillow. She lit a Woodbine and blew out the smoke. I reached out to cadge a drag when she moved back and whispered,"No Cyril you will have to wait until you come home," then she vanished. I checked my senses to see if I was a wake. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep. To this day I believe she was with me all that time in Burma watching over me. Every time she came on the radio I would say to myself here's my angel, knowing I would be safe." "You'd think if she was going visiting she would have done her hair." said Ivy. Nora asked " What colour was her head scarfe?" Compo chuckled," Perhaps she only had one Woodbine and didn't want to hang around to get shot." " They used to say, light up life with a Woodbine when things were looking miserable." scoffed Cleggy. "Thats why I took up the pipe, a Woodbine cheered you up but they were a bit too harsh for me," sighed Sid. " Well I wasn't tall enough to smoke, so I resisted it, but it was a waste of time, I didn't get any taller," drawled Wally. Nora leaned forward to take a slice of cake and a finger of cheese, pointing to her glass for Wally to give her a top up. " You can't beat a nice piece of stong mature cheddar. I remember when I was a lad going up to Northowram delivering Hay with me dad on his horse and cart. We went to Whitley's farm, they made their own cheeses and dad always got a round to bring back for Christmas. Aye! one time old Mr. Whitley gave me a young Pidgeon fledgling. She was a beautiful bird, she reared me umpteen youngens. Aye she would fly in any weather, you know what its like up Queensbury Mountain, just like Halifax, always raining. It seemed that every time someone from Halifax came to our village they brought the bad weather with them. I think there must be some omen in that." laughed Wally as Nora, giving him a clip chastised " talking about damn birds again when we are in company." Sid laughed " I remember when I was about five or six me mother used to knit me and our kid short pants. They were warm enough in winter but when we used to fall off our sledges they would get soaked and the hems would be around our ankles by tea time. That was one good reason for getting to fifteen and earning some brass. I saved up for a couple of months and bought me self a pair of long flannel trouser. I mean you can't go out meeting lasses in short pants." " I don't see why not, you have nothing to hide!" Ivy Screeched out laughingly. "Hey ! how many glasses have you had?" enquired Sid as he turned to Ivy." Not as many as you tried to get me to drink on our first date." Ivy replied in a stern tone. Cleggy asked, " Sid, did you wear a knitted boiler suit for work or did you wear your short pants?" " No you wazzock me mother got a job lot of trouser from Sutcliffe's Almost New when it became necessary for me and our kid to hide our fundamentals." Scorned Sid. Compo replied," I never had that trouble, me mother always had plenty of stock on her rag barrow." " Aye and when she packed up, we know it was never bespoke, but I don't think she meant you to stop adding to your fashion collection." Scriked Blamire. " I'll have you know these trouser belonged to old Mr. Williams. Part of his best suit. He fought at Rorkes Drift you know," argued compo. " Aye and judging by the amount of holes contained there in, you'd get the impression he fought the Zulus wearing them." replied Blamire. Cleggy put in his four pennorth saying, " Anyone who can remove and replace old Mr. Williams's Zulu's trouser, deserves a Victoria Cross." Everyone laughed as another round of drinks was poured.
After a lull in the conversation and something had sunk into Compos head he asked," hey Norm, what does omen mean?" " Its a prophecy, perhaps of impending doom, or an indication of what's to come. A good omen, or a bad omen," replied Cleggy, sensing something momentous was about to come from Compo's mind." Oh " said a subdued Compo. There was a silence again as everyone waited in anticipation for Compo to say something. " There was this time," he started. " I was about seven, when we lived up Hough End, when the bailiffs started a friendship with me mam, they kept bringing her these bunches of writs, until one night she decided she'd had enough of them pestering her with summons and processes. We loaded up the cart and cleared out to my uncle Tommy's." Blamire shaking his head, looked at Cleggy and exclaimed, " he did a moonlight, never in my life have I been associated with moonlighters. Talk about heavenly bodies that move around the earth once a month, we've got one here that moved around this very town."
" Come on Compo tell us what happend then. We're all sat on the edge of our seats here," interjected Cleggy. Compo carried on with an air of bewilderment, " When we got settled at my uncle Tommy's, he said I should sleep up in the attic in the spare bed. There was some old army blankets up there and the bed being next to the chimney it would be quite cosy. I went up to bed, it was well after midnight. I got into bed. Tommy was right it was nice and cosy as my eyes started to close. I don't know how long I'd been asleep but I felt something sit or lay at the bottom of the bed. I said come on lass, thinking it was uncle's dog Lilly, but she did not move. I opened my eyes to see where she was, and there at the bottom of my bed was a pair of yellow eyes staring at me. I kept looking for a few seconds to make sure I wasn't seeing things, then fizzing eck! they moved to the door and went. My head was staight under those blankets. Listening for any movement I dropped off to sleep. In the morning I told my Mam and Aunty Elsie what I had seen. My Aunty, who was a bit of a phsychic told me it had been a warning for her of someones passing. Yellow eyes comes here now and again on such occasions. Chuffing eck I said make sure he knows where to go next time." Blamire piped up " what would you have done if it had been the bailiff." " I was ready to leg it anyway," chuckled Compo. Nora who was well ported now, swooned " He's one of my favourite singers, that Frank Sinatra." " That's blue eyes," laughed Wally. " I didn't see him in colour, we only had black and white films at our pictures, and your to involved with your birds to get me a colour television, ah! I can hear him now," she sighed. " I remember those bobby socks you wore Nora, much more appealing than those wrinkled stockings you've got on," laughed Compo. " Aye but I could croon a bit in the old days, I reckon thats what she liked me for, but I would have liked to have been a taller singer," boasted Wally. Sid turned and glanced at Ivy, who was nodding off. He began to whisper, "what attracted me to her was when she was model of the month in the caterers weekly," " You can stop it there, they don't want to hear the rest, this is a respectable front parlour." interupted Ivy abruptly. " Yes petal" succumbed Sid. Compo inquiringly said to Cleggy, " hey Norm, why can't we see ourselves as we were in this time?" " It's like this me old mate, we are not allowed to cross paths with our previous lives. They might have times when they think they have been or done something before. Thats called deja vu. Or perhaps they might get a glimps of our being present if we are near to them. Its all rather complicated, so much so that Blamire has not fathomed it yet," explained Cleggy. " Deja vu, I once backed that at York, came last," Chuckled Compo as they all burst into laughter.
"Pass me some of that cheese" said Cleggy. " I' am glad you didn't get that Lancashire cheese they had down the market last week, the only reason it was cheap was because it crumbles at the sight of traditional yorkshire spice cake. Cheers every one." chuckled Cleggy.
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