Good Day All.

Peripheral

Peripheral

Dedicated Member
Good day everyone. Exciting day for me, the nurse is coming to drain me of 14 pints of blood:oops:to test for all manner of complaints like oblong elbow, lobster claw lobes, belly button bad breath, toe nail tadpoles, negative nostrils:confused2:, ????? NEGATIVE NOSTRILS? That's a complaint when the the nostrils turn upside down if the temperature reaches 104.5 degrees centiheit. There is of course the danger that if it should rain when that happens that you could drown. The checks they make with my blood also include lots of complaints that you wouldn't believe if I told you.
Sainsburys are due to call soon to deliver some goodies that were not available from Tescos. My managing director {wife} will be pleased because she has missed her nightly cup of black gnats eyeball soup:cheek:. Please don't ask me what black gnats eyeball soup is. I suspect it is a product made by the same company that made the black ice cream that 'Smiler' was trying to sell to Ivy in LOTSW :07:.
Right you lot, have a good day and PLEASE remember to spray any paper money you send me with a suitable anti covid disinfectant:33:.
 
Ah Peri its the old blood sample caper for you then bet its like Hancock you'll be demanding a cup of tea and a biscuit when she just puts the needle in before she draws blood . You'll have Victoria on standby armed with a kettle and box of Bath Olivers . Some of the Nurses who take blood are part of a special agency so you may get one of them today . You will be able to tell because their uniform has a sort of regimental crest of a half filled syringe and the Latin inscription Nos-Fer-Atu which roughly translates as Biting Monster Monster luckily for you they have modernised the method of obtaining blood but be on your guard!!!! :13::eek::15:
 
The nurse has just been. First of all she crushed my arm with the doodah that measures blood pressure but could not find any blood to fill the phials that she had lined up. I think that the blood pressure wotsit had cut off my supply to that arm. She then transferred her attempts at playing Dracula to my left arm where she was successful in extracting the required amount of 'thingy'. On both attempts she did utter the magic words 'sharp scratch' but I was impervious to any pain. The blood pressure gizmo was however very painful. The result is that I now have two arms devoid of blood unlike Tony Hancock who only had one arm without the necessary. Shortly I will be indulging in bangers and mash. Hope my arms are back in shape so that I can lift the yum yum up to my cakehole. :p
 
I always ask "Is this where you inflate my arm then ??Specially when said arm is resting on a pillow on the table ! :fp:
 
Hey up, I'm back. I had problems yesterday trying to cope with two arms devoid of the red stuff. I kept spilling my tea in a place where it is not supposed to be. Actually it is supposed to finish up there after it has done the job that we drink it far in the first place. In the toilet of course. What did you think I meant missus? Anyway, back to my arms, I knew that drastic measures were needed to get a refill so I made a trip to the Bank to withdraw two arms full of of the red stuff. No, not the money bank, the Blood Bank. Unfortunately I was a bit short of the REDDIES, and had to overdraw a whole thumb full of the necessary. I will no doubt be charged interest for overdrawing on my extraction but at least I am back to norm with both my extremities filled to capacity with the life giving liquid. ARMS MISSUS, ARMS.
My plans for the day are to bore you to death with my ramblings. It is no use refusing to read them because if you don't your media device will turn into prunes and cold coffee and drip into your lap. Nothing much different there, especially for us old 'uns. My lap is full of gravy droppings and custard, cold tea, crusts from my bread and jam and???????? HOW THE HECK DID THAT GET THERE? For the life of me I cannot remember eating acorns in burdock.
That's it for now. I wish you all a very happy and giggle full day. OH, one more thing before I go, {as Columbo would say}, how are you all coping with the vaccine jabs? If you have had any side effects, no matter how slight, please let me know. ......Now let's start the day with a smile. :(.... I said smile, :D. That's better.
 
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