Watching Summer Wine With Dad.

Pearl

Pearl

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Staff member
I started watching Summer Wine with my dad when I was ( Lets say small!!). He's been a fan since the get go.
Now he's living with me we watch it every day, it's good to hear him laugh, he swears blind there are episodes that he's never seen but he's got them all on dvd and has watched everyone of them a hundred times but he forgets because of the alzheimer's, we watch detective series too and he knows he's watched it before but always forgets who did it. So dads having another go round with some of them, it's like he's watching them for the first time again.

He's told me he wants the theme tune played at his funeral, which will probably be the last time I'll be able to listen to it!
 
My wife did not have Alzheimers but due to a small tumour on her pituitary gland her short term memory was poor.We could watch say MORSE or Miss Marple one week and next week we could/would watch it again as if it were new! Yet she could remember what had happened to her at school all those years ago .The tumour was removed with medications but she never regained full use of her short term memory.We gave her as many different experiences as we could though. She became a huge Rod Stewart fan and we took her quite often.:37:
She watched Summer Wine with me from the start !:42:
 
Where we live is a park home site, you have to be 50 plus to live here, used to be 55, but I guess the average age is 70 plus with some in their 80's, we have a new neighbour moving in soon who is just 50, he is going to wonder has he left planet earth, but what a great bunch of people we have on the park,all with their own stories to tell, and if you have something wrong with you they had it at some point and there is no need to visit the doctor as they have all the medications you need, I reckon somewhere on the park, someone has a home made MRI scanner if needed. We all tend to help out or support our neighbours, picking up shopping if they are ill, or trips to the hospital when needed often at the drop of a hat, there has been some with memory problems and some that will never accept help, one thing that there is no shortage of is a good laugh,which is probably the best medicine for most of us
 
maltrab said:
Where we live is a park home site, you have to be 50 plus to live here, used to be 55, but I guess the average age is 70 plus with some in their 80's, we have a new neighbour moving in soon who is just 50, he is going to wonder has he left planet earth, but what a great bunch of people we have on the park,all with their own stories to tell, and if you have something wrong with you they had it at some point and there is no need to visit the doctor as they have all the medications you need, I reckon somewhere on the park, someone has a home made MRI scanner if needed. We all tend to help out or support our neighbours, picking up shopping if they are ill, or trips to the hospital when needed often at the drop of a hat, there has been some with memory problems and some that will never accept help, one thing that there is no shortage of is a good laugh,which is probably the best medicine for most of us
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You can't beat good a community. I don't think our kids will ever have that sense of belong somewhere.
 
Pearl said:
You can't beat good a community. I don't think our kids will ever have that sense of belong somewhere.
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I've got a good community around me. The only down side is the fact that if I let them ,there would be someone to do all my shopping etc. It would be so easy to become housebound and not leave the complex !:08::42:
 
The hospital sent a social worker round to see dad a few weeks ago because he got all confuse and told them things that weren't right but anyway out she came, she said I needed to be less stressed and to make sure I stayed sane too and went on to say that to save all the hassle of looking for someone to watch dad while I going shopping to just shop online !! That way I don't need to go out!! I said the only thing keeping me sane was going out. Some times no advice is the best advice. You should do your own shopping, it might be boring but at least you're out. It's good you have a good community, that's important.
 
Community should be everything but unfortunately across the country in many places it is not . I have been in a similar position to you Pearl with my Mum . She lived on a modern estate where she had good neighbours but one by one they have either passed on or moved away to a point where Mum knew one couple

Unfortunately they had problems of their own and could not really assist my Mum as they have done as good neighbours in the past . I am not going to add to the debate about Social Care but to say my family's experience has been so so poor to the point that my Brother in Law has compiled and submitted a formal complaint against various groups who simply detracted from any chance my Mum had of recovering from her problems.

It is the most significant reason why we have had to admit her to a local care home just to ensure she has 24 hour care . I visit her regularly but agree with you totally , you need to live your own life alongside caring for your parents to de-risk your increasing stress taking its toll on you .
 
Is there a PLAN??? Has someone planned that Seniors should be excluded from Society? That when you can't fit into normal life, that care should be real expensive, unavailable and/or limited to hospital-style nursing homes? Years ago, houses were larger and families were extended. And then there was live-in help. Now grandparents have been reclassified as Senior Citizens and told that they will have happy lives living in age segregated communities. After the newness wears off, there is a always a quiet desperation.
 
Adanor said:
Is there a PLAN??? Has someone planned that Seniors should be excluded from Society? That when you can't fit into normal life, that care should be real expensive, unavailable and/or limited to hospital-style nursing homes? Years ago, houses were larger and families were extended. And then there was live-in help. Now grandparents have been reclassified as Senior Citizens and told that they will have happy lives living in age segregated communities. After the newness wears off, there is a always a quiet desperation.
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Some time their needs are to complexe for unqualified family, It's not necessarily the size of the house but whether family members are able to cope. My dad needs constant care and there are days when I know they'll be a time I can't do it anymore and it will be heart breaking but I want the best care for him and if that's not me then so be it. By having a loved one moved to a place where can be looked after properly doesn't make the family failures it makes them human, we weren't designed to live this long, each generation live longer and we're constantly learning how to deal with that.
 
As someone who has had to go through moving my Mum into Care it is heart wrenching to do so , it was one of the toughest decisions my Sister and I have ever had to make. We both knew in our heart of hearts that neither of us have the ability needed to give Mum the comfort and round the clock care she needs . Neither of us have the facilities or the ability to provide the facilities she requires . Whilst her home had some of those facilities it was incapable of being adapted to meet her full requirements and neither my Sister or I are in a position to have been able to move back in with her, even if the home was suitable . When faced with a fait accompli you do your damnedest to find the most appropriate place that can offer your nearest and dearest what they need , that itself is an absolute minefield but hopefully things will continue as they do because Mum has settled well .
 
captain clutterbuck said:
As someone who has had to go through moving my Mum into Care it is heart wrenching to do so , it was one of the toughest decisions my Sister and I have ever had to make. We both knew in our heart of hearts that neither of us have the ability needed to give Mum the comfort and round the clock care she needs . Neither of us have the facilities or the ability to provide the facilities she requires . Whilst her home had some of those facilities it was incapable of being adapted to meet her full requirements and neither my Sister or I are in a position to have been able to move back in with her, even if the home was suitable . When faced with a fait accompli you do your damnedest to find the most appropriate place that can offer your nearest and dearest what they need , that itself is an absolute minefield but hopefully things will continue as they do because Mum has settled well .
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It's a decision I know I'll have to make one day too, just thinking about it makes me cry so god knows what I'll be like when we actually do it. We know we make the best choices we can for our loved ones and until people are faced with it themselves it's hard know how it feels.
 
Yes, there is a time when adult children cannot handle the needs of their aged mother or father any longer and they need to put them into 24/7 care. It is certainly gut wrenching to do this. To everyone who is facing this decision or will be facing this decision, I wish you well.

I was really addressing the issue regarding healthy able bodied senior who has been "encouraged" to live in adult communities because zoning laws prevent in-law apartments to be built next to or as an addition to a house. Sometimes, a mother or mother-in-law, just needs the comfort of being close to her adult child; but not too close, thus the "mother-in-law" apartment.
 
Adanor said:
Yes, there is a time when adult children cannot handle the needs of their aged mother or father any longer and they need to put them into 24/7 care. It is certainly gut wrenching to do this. To everyone who is facing this decision or will be facing this decision, I wish you well.

I was really addressing the issue regarding healthy able bodied senior who has been "encouraged" to live in adult communities because zoning laws prevent in-law apartments to be built next to or as an addition to a house. Sometimes, a mother or mother-in-law, just needs the comfort of being close to her adult child; but not too close, thus the "mother-in-law" apartment.
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Well thankfully we don't have that problem, we're still able to build granny flats in our grdens and over out garages.
 
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