jokes bad or otherwise.

All people at work do is talk about the weather.
The sooner I leave the meteorological office, the better.
 
Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather's clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, "Why don't you watch where you're going." The drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wristwatch like everybody else."
 
Ever since this snow has started, all the kids have done is stare
through the window.
If they carry on for much longer, I might have to let them in.
 
I was walking through the town the other day when a bloke came up
and attacked me with a yoghurt an a lump of cheese, I thought how
dairy !!!
 
You know the snow has been around to long, when Grit and Salt have
more street value than Cocaine!
 
Alzheimers test, how fast can you guess these words,
1 F__K
2 PU_S_
3 S_X
4 P_N_S
5 B00_S
6 __NDOM

Answers:
1 FORK
2 PULSE
3 SIX
4 PANTS
5 BOOKS
6 RANDOM
You got them all wrong didnt you?
 
Police knocck on a mans door and show him a photo and say "is this your wife?"
man replies "yes it is"
"well say the police man it looks like shes been hit by a bus"
"yes" says the husband "but she's got a great personality"
 
I've just invented a new type of broom.
Keep an eye out for it,it'll soon be sweeping the nation.
 
A little kid gets on a bus and sits behind the driver and starts yelling,
"If my dad was a bull and my mum a cow I'd be a little bull."
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who yells "If my dad
was a rooster and my mum a hen I would be a little rooster."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry
and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a
prostitute?!"
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
 
A Texan, a Mexican, a Frenchman and a Brit are on a plane that is going to crash. To make matters worse, there is only one parachute between them. The valient Brit flings open the door, hollars, "Long live the Queen!" and jumps to his death. Next follows the Frenchman, who shouts, "Viva la France!", and jumps. Next guy up is the Texan, who shouts, "Remember the Alamo!" and throws the Mexican out.
 
I was so drunk last night, I brought the snowman in from the garden
to get warm.
When I got up this morning, he'd peed all over the floor and left.
 
I was so drunk last night, I brought the snowman in from the garden
to get warm.
When I got up this morning, he'd peed all over the floor and left.

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