Peripheral
Dedicated Member
My wife
has just bought herself a new walking stick. Her old one became quite useless when the SAT NAV on it stopped working. It was her own fault really, she left it propped against the garden gate
while she bent down to pick up a discarded condom packet on which were the words, 'Buy Me And Stop One' and a dog came along and peed on it
. That is, it peed on her walking stick, not the condom packet. This caused a short circuit on the SAT NAV
and she was getting instructions to take the next left on her right-hand side and reverse around the next island for two and a half miles in fourth gear
. The new walking stick is one of those adjustable ones, with a shock absorber that gives a little when pressure is applied. There is some sort of springy thing inside the hollow metal tubing. Well, my wife's seems to have something wrong with it. It makes some sort of wheezing noise as she walks about the house. It's not very loud but it is quite an audible weird sound, something like a set of bagpipes with laryngitis
. Every time she comes into the room it sounds like the Black Watch are on some military tattoo. The sound of bagpipes is so realistic that she was asked to walk up and down at the Holmesfield Haggis Hurling competition. A competition which has been won for the last five years by an Irishman living in Wales by the name of Meredith O'smith. She refused the offer because the last time she went there she was hit on the head
by a haggis which some cheating Scotsman from Kilmarnock, had left in the freezer overnight to give it extra weight. She hasn't been right since. Mind you, she wasn't right before the haggis attack. It had a strange effect on her though, she developed a limp in her left boob which made it necessary for her to use a walking stick with a square wheel on it. She also has to wear a bra with a reversing light. If she reads this then I will have to get my own evening meal
so, just in case, does carrot and sultana flan have custard or gravy on it?
Peri.
Peri.
. Pretty creative with the squeaky spring, too. I like it.
