jokes bad or otherwise.

[barmpot]

A man opens an outdoor stall to sell bagels and puts up a sign, "50 cents each." A jogger runs past and puts 50 cents into the bucket but doesn't take a bagel. The next day, he does the same thing. For weeks and then months, this goes on.

One day, as he's jogging past, the owner joins step with him. The jogger laughs and says, "I know why you're here. You want to know why I always put money in the bucket and never take a bagel."

"No," says the owner, "not that. I just want to tell you that the bagels have gone up to 60 cents."

 

[barmpot]

A mom was playing "tooth fairy" -- putting money under her little daughter's pillow -- when the child awoke and caught her in the act.

The mom froze, wondering how to explain to her tot that she was, in fact, the fairy; but she was spared the trouble.

"You put that money back!" her daughter said indignantly. "The tooth fairy left that for me!"

 

[dick]

What do you call someone who sees a robbery at the Apple store?? .....................................An i Witness!

 

[Electrical Entwistle]

Did you hear about the Chinese Jesus?

He could wok on water!

 

[dick]

Old-one.......................What do you call a boomerang that wont come back ??
A stick!

 

[Electrical Entwistle]

A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus.

"You mean 'martini', don't you?" says the bartender.

"If I wanted two, I'd say so," the Roman replies.

 

[dick]

Is GRAN CANARIA a nanny state ??

 

[dick]

Plans are guaranteed never to go to plan!

 

[dick]

A friend had to close down after resisting all attempts to modernise his business .He sadly never saw I T coming.

 

[dick]

Bakers are protective of their recipes. They only reveal them on a knead to know basis!

 

[Electrical Entwistle]

I was going to tell you a joke about my bed.

But it hasn't been made yet.

 

[Electrical Entwistle]

What is the definition of copper plates?

A police constable's false teeth!

 

[dick]

How did the picture end up in jail ?? Cos it was framed!

 

[Electrical Entwistle]

I know a fellow who is a lifelong bachelor.

I like to think of him as a rolling stone that gathers no boss.

 

[dick]

OLD ONE..........................What has 4 wheels and flies ? A dustbin lorry !

 

[Electrical Entwistle]

What is the best way to divide Rome in two?

With a pair of Caesars!

 

[dick]

What vehicle does Mickey Mouse drive??................................A Minnie van!

 

[dick]

What did the laundrette owner say to his angry customer??.............................Keep your shirt on!!

 

[dick]

OLD ONE......................What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photos?
Some day my prints will come !

 

[dick]

I've gone off exercise so much ,my rowing machine is in dry dock !