jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
captain clutterbuck
LOTSW Fanatic
An old lady is in the dentist's chair to have a clean and polish . The Dentist sensing she is nervous proceeds to tell her a story . " You see these rubber gloves I am pulling on well they are all made in France . The company employ men with different hand sizes who put on heat proof material gloves and then dip their hands in the latex . When it cools they take the gloves off and put them in a skip for packaging and go back to repeat the operation" . Still the old lady looks nervous so he decides just to start polishing her teeth . Just after he starts the old lady starts laughing uncontrollably so he stops and asks what she was laughing at . " Well it just popped into my head how they must make condoms!" 
Electrical Entwistle
Dedicated Member
I saw an ad for burial plots.
I thought, this is the last thing I'll need.
I thought, this is the last thing I'll need.
barmpot
LOTSW Fanatic
Who told you that one - Sir Coffalot?Why are graveyards so noisy ? Because of all the coffin !
barmpot
LOTSW Fanatic
At the automated coffee vending machine, a man put in his money and watched powerlessly while the cup failed to appear. One nozzle sent coffee down the drain while another poured cream after it.
"Now that's real automation!" his friend exclaimed. "It even drinks it for you."
"Now that's real automation!" his friend exclaimed. "It even drinks it for you."
barmpot
LOTSW Fanatic
Another oldie
A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity and he said that for the past 50 years he has sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.
He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium.
Boom boom
A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away. He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity and he said that for the past 50 years he has sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.
He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium.
Boom boom
barmpot
LOTSW Fanatic
Jack had been a compulsive worrier for years, to the point it was ruining his life. He saw a psychologist who recommended a specialist who could help him.
His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked "What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore."
"I hired a professional worrier and I haven't had a worry since," replied Jack.
"That must be expensive," Bob replied.
"He charges $5,000 a month," Jack told him.
"$5,000!!? How in the world can you afford to pay him?" exclaimed Bob.
"I don't know. That's his problem."
His friend, Bob, noticed a dramatic change and asked "What happened? Nothing seems to worry you anymore."
"I hired a professional worrier and I haven't had a worry since," replied Jack.
"That must be expensive," Bob replied.
"He charges $5,000 a month," Jack told him.
"$5,000!!? How in the world can you afford to pay him?" exclaimed Bob.
"I don't know. That's his problem."
Electrical Entwistle
Dedicated Member
Why is the theatre such a sad place?
The seating is always in tiers.
The seating is always in tiers.
.......................Oh really, mine was an extra large !