Special: A LEG UP FOR CHRISTMAS.
The day begins for our trio at the cafe where Foggy reminisces about an old girlfriend he used to have at Catterick Barracks. her name was Gillian and she was in the ATS. Going for a walk through the town they come across Howard who is feeling depressed, so they take him to the pub for a drink. Whilst there he tells them that he feels inadequate after watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger film -or as Compo calls him Arnold Schwarz'n'vinegar. Meanwhile, at Auntie Wainwright's, Smiler is having to test drive a very large motorbike that she has bought, but when he doesn't return she calls the police. A constable comes round to investigate but she ends up selling him a stuffed white owl for £17 .5Op. Foggy now decides to build up Howard and first gets him jogging, then doing press-ups, but they have to wheel him back to the pub in a wheelbarrow.
Wesley is showing Glenda his latest vehicle .... he's bought himself a hearse. Back at training Howard tells Foggy that he used to be good at jumping over things at school and shows him by jumping over a wall. He lands on a chicken coop and breaks his leg. Stopping the first vehicle -which happens to be Wesley and his hearse they take Howard home. On the way they pass Smiler on the motorbike and when he sees Howard sit up in the back of the hearse he gets a shock and swerves off the road into a haystack. On Christmas Eve Howard is feeling even more depressed so Foggy suggests that to cheer him up they will invite him to Clegg's house for a drink and surprise him by inviting Marina as well.
The problem is how to get Marina past Pearl's without being seen, so Foggy's idea is to borrow Smiler's motorbike and leathers. Next he has Compo arriving at Clegg's on the motorbike whilst Pearl is there. Compo sneaks out the back and Marina dresses in the leathers so Pearl will think it is still Compo. Now the ladies turn up to wish Howard "A Merry Christmas" and to give him his presents -a nice, warm scarf, a pair of socks and some buns-so Compo and Marina have to swap clothes again. The ladies decide to stay and have a party at Clegg's house which leaves Marina sat on Clegg's roof where she is not alone when Santa turns up.
SERIES 18 -1996
10 programmes 1 special.
Special EXTRA! EXTRA!
There are strangers in the area today looking for directions. Unfortunately they first ask Clegg and then Eli. After a discussion about wrinkles, our trio come across_a_ film crew and inevitably get roped in as extras. At the cafe Pearl shows the ladies a device she has acquired to keep tabs on Howard. Its an electronic tag which she has attached to his bike, so off they a!I go to test it out. Back at the film set Compo [who is dressed as a Hussar] learns that he has to ride a horse, so he cycles off on Howard's bike, but is discovered in a barn by the ladies. Nora thinks he looks magnificent all dressed up, so he decides that he will ride the horse after all. Unfortunately it throws him off and he lands on the director who tells him that he wasn't meant to ride the horse, only to conduct the band and choir. About now Barry arrives on the film set on a scooter that Auntie Wainwright sold him, but it frightens the horse and causes it to bolt away with the film director sitting on it. Nora thinks that it is Compo on the horse so she's pleased to see that he's OK. Compo is shocked later to find that her stockings haven't a wrinkle.
1. THE LOVEMOBILE.
At Auntie Wainwright's Smiler gets conned into buying a tandem, so off he goes to try and re-sell it. After he meets Compo and gives him a lift on the back, they both end up in a hedge bottom when they crash. Foggy and Clegg turn up with Wesley in the landrover, collect Compo and drive off leaving Smiler, with his tandem. Up on the moors they meet Lance and Ethel [who are always arguing] and who run a dating agency. Their car has broken down so Wesley offers to help.Smiler arrives on his tandem and decides to give the dating agency a try, whereupon he ends up with Ethel who runs the agency. Wesley discovers that the alternator is not working so they all go to the scrapyard to get another one, calling for a drink on the way. Here they come across Barry who is depressed because he has to kiss Glenda in public. Back at the Lovemobile Lance finds that Ethel has come back to him because even she can't stand Smiler. Foggy now helps Barry by getting Compo to teach him how to kiss in public. Arriving back at Edie's he subsequently tries it out on Glenda and Compo tries it out on Nora.
2. A CLEAN SWEEP.
Clegg's day begins with himself and Howard looking at a spider, but Howard gets upset when he thinks it has gone inside his cap after Clegg puts Howard's cap on top of it. Outside the church the ladies are looking at a wedding when a man inside a plastic chimney comes past. He is a sweep and later meets up with our trio, get-ting them to help him onto the bridge parapet, as he intends to throw himself off it as he is depressed because everyone is going smokeless. Taking him to the cafe to cheer him up, the sweep tells them that he hires himself out for weddings, but Foggy says he needs to look more like a sweep -covered in soot and carrying sweep's brushes, so they're off to Auntie Wainwright's to buy some brushes. Find-ing an old house, the sweep tries his brushes up a chimney but they get stuck, so Compo has to go onto the roof to try to free them, but he gets covered in soot. However its not all bad because whilst walking back to town Compo earns himself a kiss and a tenn-ar from a bride in a Rolls Royce. [Note ... the bride in the Rolls is played by production assistant Christine Mellor.]
3. THE MYSTERIOUS C.W. NORTHROP.
Whilst putting out his rubbish Clegg comes across Smiler who asks his advice about love, telling him its for a 'friend' called C.W.Northrop. Compo, meanwhile, is outside Nora's standing on his head as he tells her he's having a midlife crisis. Back at Clegg's Howard calls round and Smiler tells them both that he's attracted to Ivy and has written to her using an alias [C.W.Northrop]. Meeting up with Clegg and Foggy, Compo tells them of his midlife crisis and that he is going to help Smiler with his love life. Seeing Ivy outside the cafe Smiler discovers that he's left the wrong note -he's left a dry cleaning note. Our trio accept a lift from Wesley who's delivering some furniture for Auntie Wainwright. Compo and.Clegg fall off the back of the landrover together with a coffee table which gets scratched. At the ladies coffee morning Ivy's note is the subject of discussion and they try to find the address of C.W.Northrop by looking in the phonebook. Thinking that he lives at Ambassador Gardens the ladies go to warn him off, but end up telling off a complete stranger and getting him into trouble with his wife. Finally, Compo, Clegg, Foggy and Wesley arrive at Auntie Wainwright's with the furniture, but she notices the scratched coffee table -even after they've painted it so she sells it on to Smiler.
4. A DOUBLE FOR HOWARD.
Howard makes an early morning call on Compo. After falling through Compo's door the pair make their way to the cafe where Howard tells him he's looking for some-one the same size as himself. After a rest on the hills our trio make their way to the cafe, but on the way they bump into Vernon Sedgewick, a magazine salesman. After a cup of tea they take him to Nora's to sell her subscriptions to his magazines. They tell him to call her by various nicknames, ending up with him being chased by a yardbrush. Howard, still looking for someone his size, calls to see Wesley who is underneath his car. Calling for a pint the trio still wonder what Howard is up to, and whilst at the pub they meet Vernon again. This time they take him to Auntie Wainwright's to sell his magazines. Whilst there they find Howard with a shop window dummy he's bought from Auntie. Howard tells the trio that he needs someone his size so that at a distance it will look like him, and when Pearl catches 'that someone' with Marina she will be embarrassed. They decide that Eli will fill the bill. They take Marina and Eli to where Pearl will catch them and all is going well until Eli mistakes a policeman for Marina and kisses him, leading to him being arrested. Finally, call-ing at the pub again, they meet Vernon Sedgewick -complete with a wheelbarrow full of rubbish which Auntie Wainwright has sold him.
5. HOW TO CREATE A MONSTER.
On his way back from the library Clegg is startled by Howard who wants to know if he can borrow his bicycle sometime as Pearl has confiscated his. Foggy, meanwhile, gets thrown out of the Adult Education Centre after asking one of the assist-ants if her father was ever a Japanese sniper. Our trio come across Smiler -who has got a job as a lollipop man but can't handle the children. To protect himself he is sold some gear [a suit of armour] by Auntie Wainwright. Foggy tells Compo and Clegg that he can train anybody to do anything, and starts with Clegg's fear of going into Auntie Wainwright's, but she ends up selling him two wardrobes. Foggy now turns his attentions to Smiler and they march him ‚off to a barn where he attacks a scarecrow. Having built up Smiler's confidence we see him kiss Marina, try to throttle Barry in his new car, and attack the trio with his lollipop.
6. DEVIATIONS WITH DAVENPORT.
Up on the hills our trio come across Davenport, a man who writes guide books, but Compo startles him whilst he is climbing a cliff. He now, unfortunately, accepts help from Foggy who says he knows the area like the back of his hand and, inevitably, they all get lost. Back at Edie's she is busy telling Wesley that the ladies need a lift, so he designs a trailer with revolving seats. Meanwhile, Foggy talks Davenport into climbing a tree in order to see the road, but the branch breaks and he falls. Wesley takes the ladies out on the trailer but they end up getting dizzy as the seats keep spinning round, so Edie makes Wesley stop to phone for a minibus. The trio and Davenport now find a farmhouse but are chased away by a dog. They then meet up with Howard and Marina and get a lift on their bicycles, but they end up in a ditch just as Wesley is passing, so he gives them a lift back into town on the trailer. They too end up getting dizzy. Finally, Compo gets stuck hanging upside down outside Nora's window on a rope ladder which he has borrowed from Smiler. Smiler is supposed to be ‚selling it for Auntie Wainwright.
7. ACCORDING TO THE PROPHET BICKERDYKE.
After tangling with Nora (who hits a complete stranger) Compo meets up with Foggy and Clegg. Whilst out walking the same stranger asks them the time and also if they can smell anything burning, as he believes the world is on fire. Wesley's day is made when Barry and Glenda turn up with their new car which is making a slight noise. Barry is apprehensive about letting Wesley tinker with it especially when he takes the engine out. At Auntie Wainwright's a customer who shows an interest in a grandfather clock manages to get out of the shop without buying anything, so Auntie gets Smiler to follow him to find out where he lives. Taking the stranger, who's called Gunnershaw, for a drink our trio are told about the prophet Bickerdyke, a man who used to work on the railway and just before he died he told Gunnershaw when the world would end. Auntie Wainwright goes off to see the man Smiler followed and blackmails him into buying the grandfather clock, saying she's seen him with an-other woman. Up on the hills again Gunnershaw tells the trio that Bickerdyke predicted the world would end on a wednesday at 17 minutes past 2 -which it just happens to be. They hear a loud banging noise and see smoke and think that the end of the world is nigh. They need not worry because the noise and smoke is from Barry's new car after Wesley has supposedly fixed it.
8. NEXT KISS PLEASE.
Howard, as usual, is confined to barracks so he needs a message delivered to Marina. After Clegg refuses he gets Eli to do it. After calling for a drink Compo bets Foggy that he can get Nora to kiss him, so off they go to her house. Compo cons his way into Nora's by telling her one of his ferrets has got in, but when he comes out bragging that she has kissed him Foggy doesn't believe him. As Foggy wants proof of 'the kiss' they go off to Auntie Wainwright's to hire a polaroid camera. Meanwhile, Eli is out looking for Marina but when he finds her he falls off his bike and ends up in a hedge bottom. Back at Nora's complete with camera and a sign Auntie Wainwright sold Clegg, Compo tries again for Nora's kiss. He writes on the back of Clegg's sign that he needs the kiss of life, but when the sign is turned the wrong way round Nora reads "Come in and browse without obligation". Compo now makes one final at-tempt dressed up in a suit and writing the message "smile you're on camera" on the sign. He tells Nora that she is being filmed by a TV camera for a kind neighbour programme which Compo has put her name down for. This, at last, earns him the kiss he's been trying for.
9. DESTINY AND SIX BANANAS.
Compo asks Nora to accompany him to the Citizen's Advice Bureau, but she finds that its all a ruse when he asks the assistant if living next door to Nora for 40 years constitutes a common-law relationship. Wesley is having trouble with an old engine and gets Barry (who's on his way to work) to help but he comes out of the shed all singed. The trio are out walking when a man runs up to them and claims that there are giant apes in the woods. This news puts Foggy in his element as a so-called jungle fighter. Wesley's next helper is Smiler but he ends up burning his finger, and when Eli goes past and sees smoke coming from the shed he throws a bucket of water at it, misses and soaks a man collecting butterflies. Compo and Clegg turn up at Auntie Wainwright's armed with 6 bananas and Foggy (dressed in a safari suit) arrives with Wesley in his all-terrain vehicle. In the woods Foggy explains how he is going to capture the apes using his blowpipe and a 'poison' dart dipped in Horlicks. Getting Compo, Clegg and Wesley to flush the apes out Foggy fires his dart and hits one of the 'apes' in the rear. The apes turn out to be Howard and Marina in black tracksuits.
10. A SIDECAR NAMED DESIRE.
After a chat with Nora from his bedroom window, Compo tries to impress her by wearing his yellow striped blazer, but it has no effect. Barry has to go to work on the bus after Wesley has tinkered with his new car. Clegg gets a surprise whilst reading his newspaper when a hole appears in his wall. This turns out to be Howard's way of attracting Clegg's attention. He tells Clegg that he's heard a rumour about Marina and the under-manager at the supermarket, and how she's had an offer of marriage. Discussing this with Compo and Foggy they meet Smiler, who is pushing a motorbike and sidecar that Auntie Wainwright has bought. They give him a hand in exchange for a lift, and whilst freewheeling down a hill they pass Edie, Glenda and Wesley in Barry's new car which Wesley is trying to mend again. Compo has an idea to use the motorbike and sidecar to take Nora out like her husband Wally used to do. Leaving Wesley to mend the. motorbike they meet Howard who is determined to find out about the rumours concerning Marina. When he does see her he asks her and is told that it wasn't an offer of marriage she had but the offer of a garage, as she has bought herself a little yellow convertible. Compo now tries the motorbike and not only gives Nora a lift but Ivy and Pearl too. Whilst they are out they see Howard and Marina in her car and give chase, but the motorbike goes out of control and eventually stops in a ditch which leads to Nora chasing Compo.
The day begins for our trio at the cafe where Foggy reminisces about an old girlfriend he used to have at Catterick Barracks. her name was Gillian and she was in the ATS. Going for a walk through the town they come across Howard who is feeling depressed, so they take him to the pub for a drink. Whilst there he tells them that he feels inadequate after watching an Arnold Schwarzenegger film -or as Compo calls him Arnold Schwarz'n'vinegar. Meanwhile, at Auntie Wainwright's, Smiler is having to test drive a very large motorbike that she has bought, but when he doesn't return she calls the police. A constable comes round to investigate but she ends up selling him a stuffed white owl for £17 .5Op. Foggy now decides to build up Howard and first gets him jogging, then doing press-ups, but they have to wheel him back to the pub in a wheelbarrow.
Wesley is showing Glenda his latest vehicle .... he's bought himself a hearse. Back at training Howard tells Foggy that he used to be good at jumping over things at school and shows him by jumping over a wall. He lands on a chicken coop and breaks his leg. Stopping the first vehicle -which happens to be Wesley and his hearse they take Howard home. On the way they pass Smiler on the motorbike and when he sees Howard sit up in the back of the hearse he gets a shock and swerves off the road into a haystack. On Christmas Eve Howard is feeling even more depressed so Foggy suggests that to cheer him up they will invite him to Clegg's house for a drink and surprise him by inviting Marina as well.
The problem is how to get Marina past Pearl's without being seen, so Foggy's idea is to borrow Smiler's motorbike and leathers. Next he has Compo arriving at Clegg's on the motorbike whilst Pearl is there. Compo sneaks out the back and Marina dresses in the leathers so Pearl will think it is still Compo. Now the ladies turn up to wish Howard "A Merry Christmas" and to give him his presents -a nice, warm scarf, a pair of socks and some buns-so Compo and Marina have to swap clothes again. The ladies decide to stay and have a party at Clegg's house which leaves Marina sat on Clegg's roof where she is not alone when Santa turns up.
SERIES 18 -1996
10 programmes 1 special.
Special EXTRA! EXTRA!
There are strangers in the area today looking for directions. Unfortunately they first ask Clegg and then Eli. After a discussion about wrinkles, our trio come across_a_ film crew and inevitably get roped in as extras. At the cafe Pearl shows the ladies a device she has acquired to keep tabs on Howard. Its an electronic tag which she has attached to his bike, so off they a!I go to test it out. Back at the film set Compo [who is dressed as a Hussar] learns that he has to ride a horse, so he cycles off on Howard's bike, but is discovered in a barn by the ladies. Nora thinks he looks magnificent all dressed up, so he decides that he will ride the horse after all. Unfortunately it throws him off and he lands on the director who tells him that he wasn't meant to ride the horse, only to conduct the band and choir. About now Barry arrives on the film set on a scooter that Auntie Wainwright sold him, but it frightens the horse and causes it to bolt away with the film director sitting on it. Nora thinks that it is Compo on the horse so she's pleased to see that he's OK. Compo is shocked later to find that her stockings haven't a wrinkle.
1. THE LOVEMOBILE.
At Auntie Wainwright's Smiler gets conned into buying a tandem, so off he goes to try and re-sell it. After he meets Compo and gives him a lift on the back, they both end up in a hedge bottom when they crash. Foggy and Clegg turn up with Wesley in the landrover, collect Compo and drive off leaving Smiler, with his tandem. Up on the moors they meet Lance and Ethel [who are always arguing] and who run a dating agency. Their car has broken down so Wesley offers to help.Smiler arrives on his tandem and decides to give the dating agency a try, whereupon he ends up with Ethel who runs the agency. Wesley discovers that the alternator is not working so they all go to the scrapyard to get another one, calling for a drink on the way. Here they come across Barry who is depressed because he has to kiss Glenda in public. Back at the Lovemobile Lance finds that Ethel has come back to him because even she can't stand Smiler. Foggy now helps Barry by getting Compo to teach him how to kiss in public. Arriving back at Edie's he subsequently tries it out on Glenda and Compo tries it out on Nora.
2. A CLEAN SWEEP.
Clegg's day begins with himself and Howard looking at a spider, but Howard gets upset when he thinks it has gone inside his cap after Clegg puts Howard's cap on top of it. Outside the church the ladies are looking at a wedding when a man inside a plastic chimney comes past. He is a sweep and later meets up with our trio, get-ting them to help him onto the bridge parapet, as he intends to throw himself off it as he is depressed because everyone is going smokeless. Taking him to the cafe to cheer him up, the sweep tells them that he hires himself out for weddings, but Foggy says he needs to look more like a sweep -covered in soot and carrying sweep's brushes, so they're off to Auntie Wainwright's to buy some brushes. Find-ing an old house, the sweep tries his brushes up a chimney but they get stuck, so Compo has to go onto the roof to try to free them, but he gets covered in soot. However its not all bad because whilst walking back to town Compo earns himself a kiss and a tenn-ar from a bride in a Rolls Royce. [Note ... the bride in the Rolls is played by production assistant Christine Mellor.]
3. THE MYSTERIOUS C.W. NORTHROP.
Whilst putting out his rubbish Clegg comes across Smiler who asks his advice about love, telling him its for a 'friend' called C.W.Northrop. Compo, meanwhile, is outside Nora's standing on his head as he tells her he's having a midlife crisis. Back at Clegg's Howard calls round and Smiler tells them both that he's attracted to Ivy and has written to her using an alias [C.W.Northrop]. Meeting up with Clegg and Foggy, Compo tells them of his midlife crisis and that he is going to help Smiler with his love life. Seeing Ivy outside the cafe Smiler discovers that he's left the wrong note -he's left a dry cleaning note. Our trio accept a lift from Wesley who's delivering some furniture for Auntie Wainwright. Compo and.Clegg fall off the back of the landrover together with a coffee table which gets scratched. At the ladies coffee morning Ivy's note is the subject of discussion and they try to find the address of C.W.Northrop by looking in the phonebook. Thinking that he lives at Ambassador Gardens the ladies go to warn him off, but end up telling off a complete stranger and getting him into trouble with his wife. Finally, Compo, Clegg, Foggy and Wesley arrive at Auntie Wainwright's with the furniture, but she notices the scratched coffee table -even after they've painted it so she sells it on to Smiler.
4. A DOUBLE FOR HOWARD.
Howard makes an early morning call on Compo. After falling through Compo's door the pair make their way to the cafe where Howard tells him he's looking for some-one the same size as himself. After a rest on the hills our trio make their way to the cafe, but on the way they bump into Vernon Sedgewick, a magazine salesman. After a cup of tea they take him to Nora's to sell her subscriptions to his magazines. They tell him to call her by various nicknames, ending up with him being chased by a yardbrush. Howard, still looking for someone his size, calls to see Wesley who is underneath his car. Calling for a pint the trio still wonder what Howard is up to, and whilst at the pub they meet Vernon again. This time they take him to Auntie Wainwright's to sell his magazines. Whilst there they find Howard with a shop window dummy he's bought from Auntie. Howard tells the trio that he needs someone his size so that at a distance it will look like him, and when Pearl catches 'that someone' with Marina she will be embarrassed. They decide that Eli will fill the bill. They take Marina and Eli to where Pearl will catch them and all is going well until Eli mistakes a policeman for Marina and kisses him, leading to him being arrested. Finally, call-ing at the pub again, they meet Vernon Sedgewick -complete with a wheelbarrow full of rubbish which Auntie Wainwright has sold him.
5. HOW TO CREATE A MONSTER.
On his way back from the library Clegg is startled by Howard who wants to know if he can borrow his bicycle sometime as Pearl has confiscated his. Foggy, meanwhile, gets thrown out of the Adult Education Centre after asking one of the assist-ants if her father was ever a Japanese sniper. Our trio come across Smiler -who has got a job as a lollipop man but can't handle the children. To protect himself he is sold some gear [a suit of armour] by Auntie Wainwright. Foggy tells Compo and Clegg that he can train anybody to do anything, and starts with Clegg's fear of going into Auntie Wainwright's, but she ends up selling him two wardrobes. Foggy now turns his attentions to Smiler and they march him ‚off to a barn where he attacks a scarecrow. Having built up Smiler's confidence we see him kiss Marina, try to throttle Barry in his new car, and attack the trio with his lollipop.
6. DEVIATIONS WITH DAVENPORT.
Up on the hills our trio come across Davenport, a man who writes guide books, but Compo startles him whilst he is climbing a cliff. He now, unfortunately, accepts help from Foggy who says he knows the area like the back of his hand and, inevitably, they all get lost. Back at Edie's she is busy telling Wesley that the ladies need a lift, so he designs a trailer with revolving seats. Meanwhile, Foggy talks Davenport into climbing a tree in order to see the road, but the branch breaks and he falls. Wesley takes the ladies out on the trailer but they end up getting dizzy as the seats keep spinning round, so Edie makes Wesley stop to phone for a minibus. The trio and Davenport now find a farmhouse but are chased away by a dog. They then meet up with Howard and Marina and get a lift on their bicycles, but they end up in a ditch just as Wesley is passing, so he gives them a lift back into town on the trailer. They too end up getting dizzy. Finally, Compo gets stuck hanging upside down outside Nora's window on a rope ladder which he has borrowed from Smiler. Smiler is supposed to be ‚selling it for Auntie Wainwright.
7. ACCORDING TO THE PROPHET BICKERDYKE.
After tangling with Nora (who hits a complete stranger) Compo meets up with Foggy and Clegg. Whilst out walking the same stranger asks them the time and also if they can smell anything burning, as he believes the world is on fire. Wesley's day is made when Barry and Glenda turn up with their new car which is making a slight noise. Barry is apprehensive about letting Wesley tinker with it especially when he takes the engine out. At Auntie Wainwright's a customer who shows an interest in a grandfather clock manages to get out of the shop without buying anything, so Auntie gets Smiler to follow him to find out where he lives. Taking the stranger, who's called Gunnershaw, for a drink our trio are told about the prophet Bickerdyke, a man who used to work on the railway and just before he died he told Gunnershaw when the world would end. Auntie Wainwright goes off to see the man Smiler followed and blackmails him into buying the grandfather clock, saying she's seen him with an-other woman. Up on the hills again Gunnershaw tells the trio that Bickerdyke predicted the world would end on a wednesday at 17 minutes past 2 -which it just happens to be. They hear a loud banging noise and see smoke and think that the end of the world is nigh. They need not worry because the noise and smoke is from Barry's new car after Wesley has supposedly fixed it.
8. NEXT KISS PLEASE.
Howard, as usual, is confined to barracks so he needs a message delivered to Marina. After Clegg refuses he gets Eli to do it. After calling for a drink Compo bets Foggy that he can get Nora to kiss him, so off they go to her house. Compo cons his way into Nora's by telling her one of his ferrets has got in, but when he comes out bragging that she has kissed him Foggy doesn't believe him. As Foggy wants proof of 'the kiss' they go off to Auntie Wainwright's to hire a polaroid camera. Meanwhile, Eli is out looking for Marina but when he finds her he falls off his bike and ends up in a hedge bottom. Back at Nora's complete with camera and a sign Auntie Wainwright sold Clegg, Compo tries again for Nora's kiss. He writes on the back of Clegg's sign that he needs the kiss of life, but when the sign is turned the wrong way round Nora reads "Come in and browse without obligation". Compo now makes one final at-tempt dressed up in a suit and writing the message "smile you're on camera" on the sign. He tells Nora that she is being filmed by a TV camera for a kind neighbour programme which Compo has put her name down for. This, at last, earns him the kiss he's been trying for.
9. DESTINY AND SIX BANANAS.
Compo asks Nora to accompany him to the Citizen's Advice Bureau, but she finds that its all a ruse when he asks the assistant if living next door to Nora for 40 years constitutes a common-law relationship. Wesley is having trouble with an old engine and gets Barry (who's on his way to work) to help but he comes out of the shed all singed. The trio are out walking when a man runs up to them and claims that there are giant apes in the woods. This news puts Foggy in his element as a so-called jungle fighter. Wesley's next helper is Smiler but he ends up burning his finger, and when Eli goes past and sees smoke coming from the shed he throws a bucket of water at it, misses and soaks a man collecting butterflies. Compo and Clegg turn up at Auntie Wainwright's armed with 6 bananas and Foggy (dressed in a safari suit) arrives with Wesley in his all-terrain vehicle. In the woods Foggy explains how he is going to capture the apes using his blowpipe and a 'poison' dart dipped in Horlicks. Getting Compo, Clegg and Wesley to flush the apes out Foggy fires his dart and hits one of the 'apes' in the rear. The apes turn out to be Howard and Marina in black tracksuits.
10. A SIDECAR NAMED DESIRE.
After a chat with Nora from his bedroom window, Compo tries to impress her by wearing his yellow striped blazer, but it has no effect. Barry has to go to work on the bus after Wesley has tinkered with his new car. Clegg gets a surprise whilst reading his newspaper when a hole appears in his wall. This turns out to be Howard's way of attracting Clegg's attention. He tells Clegg that he's heard a rumour about Marina and the under-manager at the supermarket, and how she's had an offer of marriage. Discussing this with Compo and Foggy they meet Smiler, who is pushing a motorbike and sidecar that Auntie Wainwright has bought. They give him a hand in exchange for a lift, and whilst freewheeling down a hill they pass Edie, Glenda and Wesley in Barry's new car which Wesley is trying to mend again. Compo has an idea to use the motorbike and sidecar to take Nora out like her husband Wally used to do. Leaving Wesley to mend the. motorbike they meet Howard who is determined to find out about the rumours concerning Marina. When he does see her he asks her and is told that it wasn't an offer of marriage she had but the offer of a garage, as she has bought herself a little yellow convertible. Compo now tries the motorbike and not only gives Nora a lift but Ivy and Pearl too. Whilst they are out they see Howard and Marina in her car and give chase, but the motorbike goes out of control and eventually stops in a ditch which leads to Nora chasing Compo.