jokes bad or otherwise.

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"

The Mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made."

A few days later, the little girl asked her Father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were Monkeys, and we developed from them."

The confused girl returns to her mother and says, "Mum, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Dad says we developed from Monkeys?"

The Mother answers, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your Father told you about his side."
 
A mother took her daughter Carol, who was not yet old enough to read, to the eye doctor for a check-up.

The doctor used pictures to help determine how well Carol was seeing. He showed Carol a picture of a horse and asked, "How many legs does this horse have?"

Instead of saying the expected answer of "four," Carol answered, "Same as any other horse!"
 
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
 
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.

His family was fond of the legs for dinner and there were never enough for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together: "Well I finally did it. I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know" said the farmer. "I could never catch the dang thing!"
 
An urgent call was put in for a plumber at noon but he didn't arrive until 5 hours later.

"How is it?" he asked entering the house.

"Not so bad," replied the home owner. "While we were waiting for you to arrive, I taught my wife how to swim."
 
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replies, "In the region of $325,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
 
A doctor said to his car mechanic, "You charge more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, Doc, but you have always the same model; it hasn't changed since Adam. We have to keep up to date with new models coming every year."
 
A psychiatrist is addressing a small group of young mothers and their kids , he is talking about the subject of obsession. He turns to the First Mother and says " you are obsessed with all things sweet that is why you called your daughter Candy." He turns to the second Mother and says "you are obsessed by all things monetary that is why you called your daughter Penny"

He then turns to the third mother and says " you are obsessed by all things alcohol related that is why you called your daughter Brandy." At which point the fourth mother stands up , takes her son's hand and says " Come along Willie , we are going home"
 
One day Adam is walking through the Garden of Eden talking to God . "Lord this is such a beautiful place but I am lonely. Is there not some companion I could share this with not just the laughter and sadness , the sheer beauty of the Garden but someone who can cook , clean ,wash and to take care of my needs as a man ?"

God Pauses but then says " Well yes Adam I can arrange that but with all these demands it could be costly "

Adam retorts " Well what are we talking about " " Well at least and Arm and a Leg Adam" God replies

Adam thinks for a minute " Okay I understand that so what could I get for a Rib!"
 
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