jokes bad or otherwise.

A woman on her death bed asked her husband to open a box from under
the bed. Inside he found 3 eggs and £7000 in cash. "What are the eggs
for?" he asked. She replied "every time we had bad sex I would put
an egg in the box. "Not bad" I said, "3 eggs in 35 years. And the
cash?" She replied. "Every time I got a dozen I sold them......"
 
George said:
A woman on her death bed asked her husband to open a box from under
the bed. Inside he found 3 eggs and £7000 in cash. "What are the eggs
for?" he asked. She replied "every time we had bad sex I would put
an egg in the box. "Not bad" I said, "3 eggs in 35 years. And the
cash?" She replied. "Every time I got a dozen I sold them......"
Click to expand...

25r30wi.gif
..Good one George...
25r30wi.gif
 
A bloke went to a tattooist and the tattooist said, "What're you after
mate?"
He said," I want a picture of the most beautiful girl in the world".
He said, "Where do you want it?"
The bloke replied, "On my girlfriends face".
 
A couple were arguing in the car, as they drove past a field and saw
some cows, she said " relatives of yours?"
He replied "yes, in-laws"
 
It is said, that you should never trust an amateur when having building
work done?
Didn't amateurs build the Ark and professionals build the Titanic?
 
A bloke said to his mate, "What's up with you?"
His mate said, "I came home on my lunch break to find my wife in bed
with another man"
The bloke said, "That's terrible".
His made said, "I know. I had to make my own lunch"
 
Got on the bus today and showed the driver my pass.
He said, "Get off my bus"
So I picked up my ball and left.
 
A man phoned his wife and said, "I've got something to tell you, but
it's hard to say." What is it?" she said nervously, So he said....."Ken
Dodd's Dad's dog's dead."
 
A man is walking past a building site and sees a sign
HANDY MAN WANTED
So he walks up to the foreman and says "I'm here for the handy man
job"
The foreman says "can you do brick laying"? "no" replies the man "ok
can you do electrics"? "no" replies the man "can you do carpentary"?
"no" replies the man
"if you don't mind me asking,what makes you so handy"?
"I live across the road"
 
1,2,3,4,5, Once I caught a fish alive,
6,7,8,9,10, Then I let it go again
Why did you let it go?
Because according to the UK Government's rigorous guidelines, I had
exceeded my daily quota.
 
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground,The
teacher stopped the child and said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I
was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay
like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Miss you can't say
you weren't warned."
 
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