Oh that..:me:Don't play that with me, you know exactly what you did......... I had nightmares!!
June 201 ask onyx (John)
- Thread starter maltrab
- Start date
Ok Roy my old mate just off the top of my head. Foggy has organised another caravan break for the trio again, having assured them that it wont be like last time. The scene opens at Compo's house, Foggy and Compo are waiting for Clegg to meet them there as arranged, but he's late. Foggy is checking that he's packed everything and produces a small bottle of oil and his Japanese bayonet. "Whats tha bringing that with thee for, tha great Mary?!" Foggy answers; "Because little twit, I always pack my trusty bayonet when I go away and as we're going to be beside the sea I need my oil to protect it from the salty air. You see forward planning" he says tapping his forehead. "What a pillock" Compo replies. "Never mind what I'm bringing" replies Foggy "what on earth are you doing with that filthy pillow case?". "Its to put me ferrets in of course, after last time they're not goin down me trousers again!". Just then Clegg arrives at the door and walks in looking even more bashful than usual, suitcase in one hand and a turnip in the other. "Eh, what's tha doin bringin' a turnip on holidays Norm?" Compo asks. "Two words" replies Clegg, "Auntie Wainwright!". Foggy shakes his head in his usual supercilious manner and Compo collapses into a chair laughing his head off.John
Last one
So Roy Clark comes to you and says " John, mate! I'm stuck!! Can you help me? I need a script that involves a turnip, a caravan, a bottle of lubricating oil and a pillow case."
How would you tackle that?
( Yes this is revenge for last night)
Oh, and I hope you dont sleep for a week Mabel!;D
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Beth
Dedicated Member
. Wow. John your good! I am completely impressed. A moment of silence for Pearl.
. Wow. John your good! I am completely impressed. A moment of silence for Pearl.
Yeah don't write me off just yet, I have until midnight Monday. That appears to have been way to easy!!
Don't wind her up Beth, she's bad enough. Wow. John your good! I am completely impressed. A moment of silence for Pearl.
I holidayed in Donegal with my other half at the time about 17 years ago now, It was a very memorable week. It's a very beautiful part of the country and we had great weather even though we went away in April that year, and because it was early season we had all these lovely beaches all to ourselves practically.
Beth
Dedicated Member
Sorry John. I have gone without my coffee this morning. I can't think straight. ;DDon't wind her up Beth, she's bad enough
Oh B***er
..
OK Malcolm lets do this, no more faffing about with namby pamby questions.
You find a lamp and a genie pops out, she gives you three wishes but because of today's economic crisis they now come with strings attached. No lottery wins, no world peace and nothing that involves you having an anesthetic, three wishes that pertain to you personally and to make it interesting if you come up with an answer I like you get to ask me a really really stupid question like I've been asking you............... I mean a really well thought out intelligent question like I've been asking you.
You find a lamp and a genie pops out, she gives you three wishes but because of today's economic crisis they now come with strings attached. No lottery wins, no world peace and nothing that involves you having an anesthetic, three wishes that pertain to you personally and to make it interesting if you come up with an answer I like you get to ask me a really really stupid question like I've been asking you............... I mean a really well thought out intelligent question like I've been asking you.
onyx(John) didn't like this post
And?? Where's my answer?
You know I take your questions seriously and will not rush into any profound reply that wouldn't do your question justice... actually I'm cooking. Eat first, post later
This is disgraceful!!! I ask you a perfectly good question and you bale!! I want me money back :unhappy:
You have the perfect opportunity to get even with me for all the stupid ......... I mean intelligent questions and you blow it?! What gives Humphrey?
Just goes to show, you've loved it really! ;D;D
You have the perfect opportunity to get even with me for all the stupid ......... I mean intelligent questions and you blow it?! What gives Humphrey?
Just goes to show, you've loved it really! ;D;D
You know I take your questions seriously and will not rush into any profound reply that wouldn't do your question justice... actually I'm cooking. Eat first, post later
Yeah just like a man!!! Belly first!!!
:hungry:
Another difficult one. So if they are personal wishes I would wish for continued good heath. I think that those of us that are relatively pain and discomfort free are lucky and we should never take these things for granted. Secondly as a proud Irishman I would like to see this poor sorry country recover from this seemingly endless downturn and that there might miraculously appear from somewhere some political figures that might at least appear to know what they are doing. Lastly at the risk of sounding twee I would just like to be content and happy with my lot, have the grace to accept what is and the ability to affect what might impact negatively on my life.
Now Pearlykins, presuming you like my answer, here is my question/assignment for you. As I have already stated I think the final programme 'How Not to Cry at Weddings' was such a let down I would like you to come up with an ending that would have done the series proper justice. I expect many paragraphs, you have already showed your creative abilities in previous posts. Get to it.
c:;D
Now Pearlykins, presuming you like my answer, here is my question/assignment for you. As I have already stated I think the final programme 'How Not to Cry at Weddings' was such a let down I would like you to come up with an ending that would have done the series proper justice. I expect many paragraphs, you have already showed your creative abilities in previous posts. Get to it.
c:;D
Another difficult one. So if they are personal wishes I would wish for continued good heath. I think that those of us that are relatively pain and discomfort free are lucky and we should never take these things for granted. Secondly as a proud Irishman I would like to see this poor sorry country recover from this seemingly endless downturn and that there might miraculously appear from somewhere some political figures that might at least appear to know what they are doing. Lastly at the risk of sounding twee I would just like to be content and happy with my lot, have the grace to accept what is and the ability to affect what might impact negatively on my life.
Now Pearlykins, presuming you like my answer, here is my question/assignment for you. As I have already stated I think the final programme 'How Not to Cry at Weddings' was such a let down I would like you to come up with an ending that would have done the series proper justice. I expect many paragraphs, you have already showed your creative abilities in previous posts. Get to it.
I'm NOT happy with your answer so you will only get 2 paragraphs.
Howard is still desperate to get back in the house so burrows in from Cleggys cellar causing a sink hole has Clegg, Truly, Alvin and Entwhistle are digging out the debris they come across Captain Clutterbucks treasure box containing diamonds, emerald and gold doubloons which is worth millions.
They sell the treasure and shared out the money, they all book a cruise to Australia to visit Nora and go walkabout in the Outback. When I say walkabout they do it in a large camper van which Pearl cleans and Ivy cooks. Howard keeps Marina in dinghy being towed at the back, incase of flash floods.
The closing scene is the camper van towing the dinghy driving off into the sunset with Cleggy wondering if that dingo was a reincarnation of Wallys whippet.