Best one liners

Compo talking to Nora: At the sound of the bucket, my knees go weak and my wellies start to palpitate.
 
COMPO.............A stopwatch? What you need for that old banger is somebody with a cuckoo clock!! :biggrin:

WESLEY...........Given time I bet people could become very unattached to you!:cautious:
 
We cant take that , it's your own oven!!
Norah ......We might if the price is right!
Auntie........You sound just like an older version of me!!:42:
 
Auntie ............We must be related! Norah...............Less of the old!!:31:

Glenda.........Does the price include delivery?? Aunty......Ye gods we're all related!! :39::o o:
 
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Compo...........I'm worried Norm! :39:
Cleggy ...........Tell us your troubles son, we shan't be listening but they say it helps to confide in someone! :sneaky:
 
NORAH...............Don't put your helmet back on!!:31:
You cant hear me with your helmet on!!:cautious:

WALLY..............I know! Cost a fortune does a good helmet! But they're worth every penny!:sneaky:
 
SEYMOUR............What are we looking for any way?
COMPO............A dried date !
CLEGGY............He wants to be buried with it"!
SEYMOUR ..........I'll get a shovel!:08:
 
CLEGGY..............Have you thought about cremation??
A few more ingredients and you could come out like a fruit cake! ;):sneaky:
 
COMPO.....I could do with being somewhere warm!
IVY..........How about a single to Saudi Arabia??
COMPO..............I could go for that, being an oil shriek!! :thumbsup::biggrin:
 
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I'm sorry, but you cannot bring your ferrarts into church service.

Compo: They've been baptized!

Pastor: I don't care if they've been ordained! Out, out/, out!
 
NORAH to IVY.........I'd have kept it hidden!:20:

IVY TO NORAH............You were forty when you were born!

NORAH...........Going on fifty!!:31:
 
NORAH (to Alvin) ..............You can say its none of my business but I've got to ask, have you got a woman?? :cautious:

ALVIN..................Norah Batty! Thank you for the offer but I've no vacancies at the moment!! :thumbsdown:
 
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