jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
Electrical Entwistle
Dedicated Member
If you see a pig limping, there's a good chance it pulled a hamstring.
captain clutterbuck
LOTSW Fanatic
My Four Year Old has been learning Spanish during lockdown.
Despite picking up many words and phrases he still hasn't grasped the word for Please which I think is Poor for Four!
Despite picking up many words and phrases he still hasn't grasped the word for Please which I think is Poor for Four!
imitation700mb
Dedicated Member
Mum's been looking after the plants in our garden just lately. I hope she's not kissed by the two lips!
captain clutterbuck
LOTSW Fanatic
Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies.
A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had a baby."
The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the president of Mark One!"
The nurse goes away.
Then the nurse comes back and says to the second businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had twins!"
The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the owner of the Minnesota Twins!"
The nurse goes away.
The nurse comes back and says to the third businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had triplets!"
The man says, "What a coincidence! I work for Triple Crown!"
The nurse goes away.
The nurse comes back and sees the fourth businessman alone on the bench crying.
She asks, "Why are you crying"?
The man replies, "I work for Seven Up."
A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had a baby."
The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the president of Mark One!"
The nurse goes away.
Then the nurse comes back and says to the second businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had twins!"
The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the owner of the Minnesota Twins!"
The nurse goes away.
The nurse comes back and says to the third businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had triplets!"
The man says, "What a coincidence! I work for Triple Crown!"
The nurse goes away.
The nurse comes back and sees the fourth businessman alone on the bench crying.
She asks, "Why are you crying"?
The man replies, "I work for Seven Up."
captain clutterbuck
LOTSW Fanatic
A priest and a nun are driving in a car towards a monastery, priest behind the wheel.
Approaching the red light, priest places gently his hand on the nuns knee to which the nun looks at him and says, “Father, remember Luke 14:10”. Priest apologies, removes his hand and keeps on driving.
At the next red light, priest again places his hand on the nuns leg, slightly higher than the last time. To which the nun awkwardly repeats: "Father, remember Luke 14:10".
Priest promptly removes his hand, apologies and mentions how his desires are stronger than his restraint.
When they finally reached the monastery and said goodbye, priest went to his room, immediately picked up the Bible and looked up Luke 14:10.
In which he found : "Friend, go up higher."
Approaching the red light, priest places gently his hand on the nuns knee to which the nun looks at him and says, “Father, remember Luke 14:10”. Priest apologies, removes his hand and keeps on driving.
At the next red light, priest again places his hand on the nuns leg, slightly higher than the last time. To which the nun awkwardly repeats: "Father, remember Luke 14:10".
Priest promptly removes his hand, apologies and mentions how his desires are stronger than his restraint.
When they finally reached the monastery and said goodbye, priest went to his room, immediately picked up the Bible and looked up Luke 14:10.
In which he found : "Friend, go up higher."