jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one or live in America...
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated
next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated
next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen.
She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
dick
LOTSW Fanatic
jokes bad or otherwise??
I've been asked to add these to the forum, apologies if you've heard them before.
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor by my bed .....First I was afraid then I was petrified.
The wife has been missing for a week now , the police said to prepare for the worst so I've had to get all her clothes back from the charity shop.
Bought some " rocket salad" It went off before I could eat it!!
Man says to his mate " why you talkin to that envelope??" "I'm sending a voicemail "was the reply!
Got back from a mates funeral , he died after being hit by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service!!
I've been asked to add these to the forum, apologies if you've heard them before.
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor by my bed .....First I was afraid then I was petrified.
The wife has been missing for a week now , the police said to prepare for the worst so I've had to get all her clothes back from the charity shop.
Bought some " rocket salad" It went off before I could eat it!!
Man says to his mate " why you talkin to that envelope??" "I'm sending a voicemail "was the reply!
Got back from a mates funeral , he died after being hit by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service!!
dick
LOTSW Fanatic
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell YOU, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo. Someone stole tent."
;D;D;D;D
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell YOU, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo. Someone stole tent."
;D;D;D;D
the lone ranger and tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, tonto wakes the lone ranger and says, "kemo sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
the lone ranger replies, "i see millions of stars."
"what that tell you?" asked tonto.
The lone ranger ponders for a minute then says, "astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, tonto?"
"you dumber than buffalo. Someone stole tent."
;d;d;d;d
:d My smilies won't let me laugh, so I'm telling you I'm laughing.
brendalovescompo
Dedicated Member
;D:biggrin: Good one Big Unc!!