jokes bad or otherwise.

Avid fan of I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue just catching up on series 75 and here is an offering from them .

People seem to struggle with defining the difference between Mesmerized and Awestruck well Mesmerized means to be fascinated and totally captivated by someone or something whilst Awestruck is a vehicle Cockneys transport Equine stock in .
 
Avid fan of I'm Sorry I haven't a Clue just catching up on series 75 and here is an offering from them .

People seem to struggle with defining the difference between Mesmerized and Awestruck well Mesmerized means to be fascinated and totally captivated by someone or something whilst Awestruck is a vehicle Cockneys transport Equine stock in .
Captain, I am somewhat enthralled by your command of the English 'lingo'. I must admit to contemplating for a few seconds your views on 'awestruck'. I was, for a few seconds, bewildered as to the connection between Mesmerized and Awestruck. My excuse for such a lack of comprehension is that I am still partly engrossed in a semi slumber state of that wonderful pastime which is sometimes referred to as 'nodsville'. :07: zzzzzzzzzz
 
My girl asked me how they measured the depth of the oceans.I told her she'd have to fathom it out for herself !:fp:
 
My neighbour do's not believe in putting things off till tomorrow ! He puts them off permanently !:fp::08:
 
Another I'm Sorry I haven's a clue

Medical Students have been struggling for years regarding the definition of Necrosis and Gangrene . Necrosis is a condition where body tissue dies predominantly because blood fails to flow to that area where Gangreen is what Geordies wait for at Traffic Lights.
 
I had no luck growing salad leaves !:fp:
I dont know why, ..........It's hardly rocket science is it ??:confused2:
 
I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.

I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone.

It was then that my worst fears were realised, that I was trapped on a Dessert Island. :fp:
 
A crow was arrested an put behind bars.

His lawyer, a lawyer bird obviously, visited him.

"How bad is it?" The crow asked.

"Pretty bad." The lawyer bird replied. "They had a warrant to go through your mobile phone records."

"So what?" The crow said. "I've got nothing to hide."

"They found the texts to your friends." The lawyer bird said.

"So now it's a crime to ask my fellow crows to meet up ?" The crow exclaimed. "They were all to busy anyway"

"You're lucky they were." The lawyer bird replied "They've got you on attempted murder!"


So when Alvin and Howard attempted the Crowcroft Challenge Truly should have surely arrested them for attempted murder but once MArina joined up after Howard bought the suit and asked her to meet that would have been full blown pre-meditated murder.
 
A man goes into a shoe store looking to buy a pair of boots...

There’s an Irishman behind the counter who pulls out a box of comfortable looking boots for the man.

The man tries on the left boot, a perfect fit. He laces them up and is fairly convinced he’ll be buying them.

“O'Shaugnessey , this boot’s a perfect fit. Will you pass me the other boot so’s I can try them both on?”

He puts on the other boot, which fits just as snuggly as the first. As he’s about to do the laces up, he realises there are no holes to put the laces through.

“O'Shaughnessey ! What’s wrong with the other boot? There aren’t any holes for the laces!”

O'Shaughnessey looks at the box for a moment, and says, “Ahhh, to be sure here’s your problem. , it says here on the box TAIWAN .”
 
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