More funny lines

Springing Smiler

The gang are discussing how to make Smiler attractive to Nora Batty
Howard “They can do wonders nowadays with plastic surgery”
Clegg “For him or for her?”
 
:D " COME BACK JACK HARRY TEASDALE"

CLEGGY "NO WONDER SHE'S MISERABLE IF ALL SHE HAS TO EAT IS HANDKERCHIEFS!" ;D
 
Ordeal By Trousers

Edie “I was brought up in a house with a black leaded stove whiter than that”
Glenda “He's fiddling with an engine mother.You can't kkep clean when you're fiddling with an engine”
Edie “Yes but he turns the same colour when he's just changing a fuse”
 
A bicycle made for three.

Compo "hang on a minute.I've got something sharp in my welly"
Foggy "It would have to be sharp to survive that"
 
Hail smiling morn or thereabouts

Blamire"Just a moment.Just a moment.I'm studying contrast and tone.I used to exhibit myself,you know"

Compo"You mucky old devil"
 
Come In Sunray Major
Pearl(on Marina):I wouldnt mind if she wasnt such a tart
Howard:Yes you would
Pearl:You're right I suppose I would
 
Space Ace

Ace “When I get up there,orbitting the earth I'll be living on tasteless mush”
Clegg “Can you get tv soaps as far out as that?”
 
Ivy “Come and see to this drain,it's starting to smell I don't know what what might be down there.”
Sid “It'll be your mother she's been through everything else.”
 
Deviations With Davenport

Clegg “I'm not looking if he's dead”.
Compo “He's not dead,I can hear him swearing”.
Clegg “Maybe he doesn't realise he's dead”
Foggy “Then he must be an idiot”.
Clegg “Ah well I'll look if he's an idiot,I like idiots”.
 
A Sidecar Named Desire

Compo “Who's gonna marry Marina?She's not for marrying..........she's for educational purposes”
 
Clegg(on Compo remarking how his ferret runs up his clock):Why dont you get it a wristwatch?
Come back Jack Harry Teesdale
 
The Suit That Turned Left

Clegg “Ye Gods I'm standing here wearing an apron discussing window cleaning fluid. A thing like this could alter your whole metabolism.”
 
Merry Christmas Father Christmas
Nora “What neck size is your Desmond?”
Wally “How the heck should I know. Not only Christmas shopping,you've got me doing homework as well.”

Wally's final line in Summer Wine
 
George said:
Merry Christmas Father Christmas
Nora “What neck size is your Desmond?”
Wally “How the heck should I know. Not only Christmas shopping,you've got me doing homework as well.”

Wally's final line in Summer Wine
Click to expand...

One of the best characters in the show, he has in oppinion some of the best lines too :)
 
The Mysterious C W Northrop
Howard startles Smiler
Smiler:he crept up behind me
Clegg:well he couldnt creep up in front of you
 
Ferret Come Home

Clegg "Funny how the visual arts reflect the cultural changes much more clearly than the writing on the local urinal walls.Which doesn't seem to have changed all that much since I was in short trousers."
 
from the episode "Jubilee"...

Compo -- "I wonder what they'll put on my headstone?"
Foggy -- "Something heavy I hope."

I might not be recalling the dialogue exactly, but I believe it went something like that.

Then there was the episode where Compo said Sid's tea tasted like weasel pee, but I don't remember the title at the moment.
 
manfromoswestry said:
from the episode "Jubilee"...

Compo -- "I wonder what they'll put on my headstone?"
Foggy -- "Something heavy I hope."

I might not be recalling the dialogue exactly, but I believe it went something like that.

Then there was the episode where Compo said Sid's tea tasted like weasel pee, but I don't remember the title at the moment.
Click to expand...

And A DewHurst Up A Fir Tree
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top