Well, I hope it's not USEFUL - I hate USEFUL presents!
I only ever get USEFUL presents. I remember one year, our lass gave me thermal UNDERWEAR. You don't half know where you stand fascination-wise, when your wife buys you thermal UNDERWEAR!
Don't YOU ever think of me as a woman? A person? Am I always just a wife?
YOU'VE never been just a wife. YOU'RE about as much wife as anybody could handle. There's nobody had more wife than I have.
If she was attacked right in front of me eyes I'd have to stand there, helpless. Helpless! She could have the bloke mauled to DEATH before I could DRAG her off.