jokes bad or otherwise.

The wife just gave me a massive bollocking for throwing a snowball
at our son.
To top it off, I've been banned from the maternity ward too.
 
Teacher:
Right children, to start off the English lesson I want each of you
to state a fact. Let's start with you Tommy.
Tommy: I am 7 years old.
Teacher: Very good Tommy that's correct. Jenny?
Jenny: I am a girl.
...Teacher: Excellent. Johnny, your turn!
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No,no It's "I am" not "I is"! Try again Johnny.
Johnny: Ok... ...I am the 9th letter of the alphabet and you shouldn't
jump to conclusions
 
Mike Ashley's driving in his car through newcastle and spots an elderly lady struggling with her shopping in the snow. So he pulls over, lowers his window ans says, "are you ok love? can you manage?"
The elderly lady replies "F**k off i don't want the job!"
 
Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant
- it doesn't work and it can't be fired.
 
I was out shopping when a young lad stopped me and said, "Excuse me
mate, if I give you some money, will you go into the shop and buy
some beer?"
I said, "Wow, thanks very much. That's very generous of you".
 
Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster
site, to tourists.
They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.
 
George said:
Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster
site, to tourists.
They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.
Click to expand...

25r30wi.gif
 
I bought my wife a lovely pair of black leather gloves for Christmas.
I just hope they fit her.
She's got a very thick neck.
 
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