Best one liners

[onyx(John)]

Clegg: "The female form was always a mystery to me. Anything else you acquire with moving parts, you get an owner's manual." ;D

 

[dick]

" Wouldn't it be quicker to break the window Howard ?? Instead of coming out every day trying to wear a hole in it??"

 

[onyx(John)]

Marina: "Howard! What are you doing among that woman?"

 

[WesleyRocks]

Foggy: That's where we've been going wrong, We've been coming around this bend as pedestrians, no wonder we missed the bush. Why did we miss the bush!!?
Clegg: Maybe its not a bush stop.

Gets me every time.

 

[onyx(John)]

The trio are out walking looking for wild flowers.
Compo: "Are you going to give me a hand?"
Foggy: "What, picking flowers? That's no job for a trained killer."
Compo: "Alright, pick stinging nettles instead." ;D ;D

 

[Beth]

Foggy: I took advantage in the various further education courses in the army. I took courses in Basic Russian, Flower Painting and Advanced Silent Killing.

 

[onyx(John)]

Foggy: "Half the joy of a gift is in the unwrapping.
Compo: That's what I keep telling Nora Batty, but she won't unwrap nowt." ;D

 

[onyx(John)]

Wesley: "I was just in the middle of giving me engine a tune"
Eadie:"Well you can play to it later"

 

[onyx(John)]

Nora: My Wally was very good with pigeons
Wesley: Well he could look them in the eye, couldn't he? ;D

 

[barmpot]

all those years of marriage - I wonder if flannelette makes you impotent?

 

[onyx(John)]

Nora: "I`m not having Brussels waving it`s muscles at me " ;D

 

[Beth]

Nora: "I`m not having Brussels waving it`s muscles at me " ;D

I like that.

 

[dick]

Foggy... "If Howards so happy being married, why does he keep running off with Marina??"
Compo....."Cause Nora Batty's not available??"

 

[Beth]

Wally: Well we are all men of the world.
Cleggy: I don't think I can handle that being a man of the world. Couldn't we just stick to the area of me post code?

 

[onyx(John)]

I know which pedal it is he said, with his foot in the ashtray

 

[onyx(John)]

Billy talking about Howard: "He lives an interesting life for a small dozy idiot." ;D ;D

 

[Beth]

Cleggy: I would hate being desirable. I really would.

 

[onyx(John)]

Sid: "The wives 'round here make love as if it`s shoplifting."

 

[Beth]

Foggy: That's where we've been going wrong, We've been coming around this bend as pedestrians, no wonder we missed the bush. Why did we miss the bush!!?
Clegg: Maybe its not a bush stop.

Gets me every time.
[/quote Yes..ha ha. Cleggy could throw some "corny" joke puns. The kind that make you moan and roll your eyes. I had a supervisor like that. He was a priest who was extremely intelligent and would tell jokes that would have just a "play on words". We complained about them to him but he knew that we loved them. ;D

 

[dick]

Just watched a good Clegg oneliner, Howard has a spider in his cap ""what if its poisonous??"" Clegg ... ""Yorkshire spiders aren't poisonous , just argumentative at cricket matches.""