Best one liners

ENTWHISTLE...............You didn't like lino??
CLEGG..............How can you like lino ?:Its cold,it cracks, it smells, people used it in their bathrooms which were already the coldest places on Earth!
TRULY..............That's why we never had fridges, the bathroom was just as good! :rolleyes::20:
 
COMPO.................I think I'd like to be cremated !:o o:

SEYMOUR...........Now he tells us ,when he knows nobody has a match!! :20:
 
COMPO..........Lets go an call on Clegg!:biggrin:

BLAMIRE............Just a moment , I 'm studying colour and tone. I used to exhibit myself you know!:42:

COMPO....... You mucky old devil!:cautious:
 
IVY...............Leave me to do all the packing!!
SID ...........Its more like unpacking! You cant take them she says, then she opens her mouth!
IVY ..........I heard that !
SID.................I've been hearing that for thirty years! Have a rest woman , you're on holiday!:confused:
 
Howard..............Oh its just a bit of vanilla slice !:42:

Pearl...................Get inside :mad: Do you know why we haven't got a lawn ? I'd be tempted to bury you under it!!:46:
 
Howard............I was just telling Cleggy here you've got a radiant smile, when you bother to use it! How come you never smile these days when you look at me ??

Pearl..................I'm too busy giggling, you look hilarious in a chilly bathroom!!:46:
 
Poetic licence but from a Roy Clarke written show Open All Hours cannot resist it as its just been on

Granville - "Genuine Jamaican Ginger Cake , they've never been any where near Jamaica !"

Arkwright - " Well we sell Mars Bars! " :)
 
NORAH................You cheeky monkey you're just being awkward!:31:

WALLY.............I like it ,I like it !! :12:

NORAH .............I want your honest opinion and you'd better get it right next time !:mad::(
 
HOBBO..............Should you be lying on damp grass ??

ENTWHISTLE.............Is it damp?? Risk it , give it a whirl. Live dangerously! :confused:
 
CLEGGY.............I cant get used to him being dead ! :44:

TRULY............ I.know what you mean, Never seemed the type did he? I mean if he can die , nobody's safe ! :20::o o:
 
While Foggy go's to the rescue................
CLEGGY ............I bet there's 14 dead !
COMPO...................Ey-up it were only a shunt!!
CLEGGY ...........What do we need with 14 dead when we've got the town council?:39::cautious:
 
TRULY ...........I've been thinking about death !:20:

CLEGGY ...................Oh well ,so long as your not in a bad mood !:o o:
 
A flash and a loud bang as his lights explode ............
SMILER ............I think one of me bulbs has gone :cry2:

AUNTY...............That's always been my impression!:eyesroll:
 
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