Best one liners

Norah..........Men always want the biggest share of everything, especially original sin ! :20:

Ivy................God made them to go and people the planet! I just wish he'd give them a hint when to stop !:31:
 
COMPO...................I thought you'd be open ?:confused:

SID......... Its a natural assumption ,if you ignore the drawn blinds and the 4 foot sign that says closed ! :mad:
 
Compo finds a lighter flint in his welly , while he's peering into his welly Foggy says to Cleggy "I don't know how he can do that without an anaesthetic!" :eek2::20:
 
COMPO..............Me auntie Meg had a tortoise!:42:

Foggy.................She had something slow and idle and that was her husband !!;)
 
....CLEGG............Some fool dressed as Father Christmas
SEYMOUR........................Its no wonder we cant collect any money ,some unauthorised Father Christmas is getting all the money !

SEYMOUR.............. We'll have to catch him!
CLEGG...........I'm not chasing Father Christmas, dressed as Father Christmas ! It'll look like Walt Disney is in town!! :39::12:
 
This fellow..............he picks up this tiny bird in his hands and carries it's quivering little body across this busy road junction and feeds it to his cat ! :39:

Life's like that a complex texture of conflicting moralities !:confused::eyesroll: ........................................... (Norman Clegg)
 
Foggy..............We'll have coffee then ! :geek2:
Ivy ...............No coffee left !:20:
Foggy..............Whats in the tin marked coffee ?
Ivy...............Dessicated coconut!:20:
Foggy.................Whats in the tin marked Dessicated coconut ?? :confused:

Ivy...............Electricity bills and fuse wire !!:20::20::eyesroll:
 
Foggy....Oh God , they're going to show me up with the Tory party at play.
Compo...Eh up it's fancy dress day , you think anyone who's gone to all that trouble would have put a red nose on!
 
Billy: They say my grandfather was happily married; but he didn't live to be very old, so I find that suspicious!
 
Howard: If we were on a tandem, we'd be going different directions!
Pearl: No, we wouldn't! We'd be going in MINE!
 
How did your husband know you were ready for courting? It must have taken uncommon valor to tackle you without a little encouragement!
 
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