jokes bad or otherwise.

A man and his wife walked into the dentist's office.The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or anaesthetic because I'm in a hurry. Just pull the tooth as quick as you can.""You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
 
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What!?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday!
 
Three friends are talking at a bar.The first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed."The second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed."The third friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse."His friends look at him."No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
 
I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'
 
Scientists have discovered a food
that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
 
A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman and said,
"I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
 
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
 
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the checkup, the doctor took the wife aside and told her, "If you don't do the following, your husband will lose his will to live and surely die."

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood.
At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work.
For dinner, fix especially nice meals selected from his favorite foods and don't burden him with household chores or problems.
Make love with him several times a week and satisfy his every sexual whim. On the way home, the husband asked his wife what the doctor had told her.
She replied, "You're going to die."
 
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
 
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