jokes bad or otherwise.

[dick]

old one.................What's the physicists favourite meal??
Fission chips!

 

[barmpot]

I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

 

[barmpot]

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

 

[barmpot]

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

[barmpot]

My chiropractor is no comic, but he really cracks me up.

 

[barmpot]

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

 

[barmpot]

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

 

[barmpot]

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

 

[barmpot]

Whenever you think you would like to go back to your teenage years, think of Algebra.

 

[barmpot]

Would one thousand dangerous bikes be one Kilocycle?

 

[barmpot]

Irony: The opposite of wrinkly

 

[barmpot]

I don't think I got the job at Microsoft. They haven't responded to my telegram.

 

[barmpot]

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was riveting.

 

[barmpot]

I wanted to be a cardiac surgeon but my heart was not really in it!

 

[barmpot]

I wanted to be a thoracic surgeon but I could never get the thought off my chest!!

 

[barmpot]

Or I even considered dermatology but that got under my skin.

 

[barmpot]

Then I thought about becoming a neurologist but that just got on my nerves.

 

[barmpot]

And my cousin suggested a gastro-enterologist but I could not stomach that at all!!!

 

[barmpot]

But I could feel it in my bones I should become an orthopaedic surgeon.

 

[barmpot]

A new years resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.