jokes bad or otherwise.

City slicker: "Look at that bunch of cows."
Farmer: "Not bunch ... herd."
City slicker: "Heard what?"
Farmer: "Herd of cows."
City slicker: "Sure I've heard of cows."
Farmer: "No, a cow herd."
City slicker: "Why should I care what a cow heard? I've got no secrets from a cow."
 
13-year-old Dewey spent a beautiful Saturday and Sunday indoors playing video games.

His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, "Someday, you're going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom's basement playing video games all day!"


His reply: "I can only dream."
 
A man in a hurry, taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

"Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.

"Aw, Dad, it's probably okay," the son said. "The police car right behind us just did the same thing."
 
A child comes home from his first day at school.

His mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."
 
SPOTTED IN READERS LETTERS..........One line philosophers
I call my husband Blister, he always shows up when the work is done !:39::eek:

If you get carried away by your own importance, you wont have far to walk back! :08:
 
An old geezer who was a retired farmer for a long time became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put up a sign outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500, and if not cured, get back $1,000!"

Doctor Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he visited Dr. Geezer's clinic.

Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I've lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Aaagh !! -- This is gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I've lost my memory, I can't remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, that's gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back! That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after losing $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!"

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so here's your $1000 back," and handed him a $10 bill.

Dr. Young: "But this is only $10!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top