jokes bad or otherwise.

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a roomeveryone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, large chest, skinny waist ,long legs and long blonde hair. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
 
The vicar was asked why he wore his collar back to front ."Because I'm a father " he said.
The other man said " I'm a father too but I wear my collar the right way !"
The vicar said "But I'm a father to thousands !"
The other man said "Its not your collar that you should be wearing back to front then , but your trousers !!":08:
 
A man is stumbling through the bush totally drunk and then he comes upon a Bishop baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the Bishop. The Bishop turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

'Yes I am' replies the drunk, so the Bishop grabs him and deeps him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?'

The drunk replies, 'No, I haven't.' The Bishop, shocked with the answer, deeps him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus, my brother?'

The drunk again answers, 'No, I have not found Jesus.'
By this time the Bishop is worried and so he deeps the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs struggling for breath, the Bishop pulls him up. The Bishop asks the drunk again, 'For the love of God, have you found Jesus?'

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the Bishop

'Are you absolutely sure this is where JESUS fell in?'
 
Woman at confession..........................." Father , father , how would you tackle a serious drink problem?" ..........................The priest replied "With a corkscrew??":rolling::08:
 
Pearl is having an issue with a new jigsaw so she rings her friend Richard for advice . Richard tells her that she should start with corners and then put together all the straight lined pieces followed by the others working inwards to the centre. Richard enquires what the jigsaw's subject is about to which Pearl says " It's a large Rooster" . A few hours pass and Richard gets a call from Pearl to say she is still struggling , cannot find the corners and none of the pieces seem to fit together and could he come over and help. Anyway Richard arrives and goes to the room where Pearl is trying to complete the jigsaw , immediately he recognises the problem , " Pearl just put the cornflakes back in the box!" :08::08::08::08::eek:
 
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