jokes bad or otherwise.

A man is suffering from really painful hemorrhoids and has tried all sorts of creams with no change . He mentions this to his mate who tells him he had them and what he did was to get a luke warm used tea bag , break the bag and rub the leaves on the affected area .He does this for a few days but they are still painful and he ends up going to the Doctors.

After explaining the problem the doctor tells him to remove his clothes and to lie down so he can inspect the problem which the man duly does . The Doctor looks and says "Ah I see the problem , you are going on a long journey where you will meet a beautiful girl............ "
 
captain clutterbuck said:
A man is suffering from really painful hemorrhoids and has tried all sorts of creams with no change . He mentions this to his mate who tells him he had them and what he did was to get a luke warm used tea bag , break the bag and rub the leaves on the affected area .He does this for a few days but they are still painful and he ends up going to the Doctors.

After explaining the problem the doctor tells him to remove his clothes and to lie down so he can inspect the problem which the man duly does . The Doctor looks and says "Ah I see the problem , you are going on a long journey where you will meet a beautiful girl............ "
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DOOHHHH!:fp:
 
Satnav – A new poem by Pam Ayres.

I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car. A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are. I have a little Satnav, i've had it all my life. It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive "It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five". It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene. It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear. And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device. For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice. It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught. So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed. It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff, I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.
 
Why does WHERES WALLY wear stripes ??............................................................ He doesn't want to be spotted ! :08::rolling:
 
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