jokes bad or otherwise.
- Thread starter George
- Start date
George
Super Moderator
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks and cleans from time to time, and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very important that these four women don't know each other
barmpot
LOTSW Fanatic
I am sure Ivy and Norah would say yes
George
Super Moderator
A woman came home to find her husband in bed with another woman.She dragged him down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up a hacksaw. The husband screamed, You're not going to cut it off are you?" The wife, "No, you are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."
George
Super Moderator
A 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed.
Her husband walks in and says, " You look ridiculous! What do you think
you are doing?"
She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an 18-year-old!"
She starts laughing and jumping again.
He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year old ass?"
She says, "Your name never came up!"
Her husband walks in and says, " You look ridiculous! What do you think
you are doing?"
She says, "I just got my checkup and my doctor says I have the breasts of an 18-year-old!"
She starts laughing and jumping again.
He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year old ass?"
She says, "Your name never came up!"
George
Super Moderator
A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he told his mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens." How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
George
Super Moderator
Actual writings on hospital charts:
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful.
8. The patient refused autopsy.
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
George
Super Moderator
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she
says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age.
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32.
The wheel is spun, and 41 comes up.
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted.
says, "I have no idea what number to play."
A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age.
Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32.
The wheel is spun, and 41 comes up.
The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted.