jokes bad or otherwise.

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He decided to stick it out for one more year
 
What's the difference between a g-spot and a golf ball?
A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball
 
A man walks into a pub and sees Vincent Van Gogh standing at the bar. The man says 'I love your paintings, can I buy you a drink?'
Vincent replies, 'No thanks I've got one ear.'
 
A pie walks into a bar and asks the bar owner if he can have a pint of beer and a packet of crisps. The bar owner replies and says, sorry we don't serve food.
 
One cannibal to another "I don't think much of your wife."
"Well, never mind just eat the vegetables."
 
A vampire bat comes back to his fellow vampires with a blood on his mouth. They stare at him jealously and ask him where he got the blood. He asks them, "Did you see that tree back there?"
"Sure," they reply.
"Well I didn't!"
 
I don't need to buy an encyclopedia - my wife knows everything.

Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgement than women.
Wife: You're right. You married me and I married you.
 
Why is a launderette not a good place to find a girlfriend?
If she cannot even afford to buy her own washing machine, she will never have enough money to support you.
 
Men are like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to batter them, and a spade to bury them.
 
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