jokes bad or otherwise.

I know a guy who was so dumb his teacher gave him two sticks and he became a drummer, but lost one and became a conductor.
 
Two cowboys were waiting in their fort for the Indians to attack. They listened to the distant pounding war drums. One cowboy muttered to the other, "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, a distant voice came over the hill, "It's not our usual drummer!"
 
A SIGN OF THE TIMES

As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my email??!!"
 
Got my son a n acttion figure for Xmas. It's dressed in a suit & bow tie, comes with a toy gavel & when you press a button the voice says "going once, going twice..."

I hope he likes Auction Man.
 
I was working on the alcohol aisle in my supermarket this morning when an old lady came up to me and asked "Where's your ginger wine?"
"Usually in the canteen at lunchtime , but no-one ever listens to him."
 
Texting this from A &E, Turns out that the Dyson ball cleaner is not what I expected it to be........ :o :'(
 
Spotted in the D/MAIL letters section"" Cameron would have been better off with COMPO rather than CLEGG!!""
 
Four days after the daughter's wedding, she calls her mother:
'Mommy, we had our first dispute. And now I don't know where to hide the body.'
 
"Can you get some bleach and some washing powder while you're out?", my mates wife asked.

"Can't you wait until you've opened your presents tomorrow?", he replied.
 
Man is getting into bed when the wife says in a sexy voice,"Go on,do something dirty" so he p'd in her handbag ;D :D

Hector.
 
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