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Best one liners

Truly: I never looked like Shirley Temple ....except once when undercover for the vice squad.
 
No wonder them shoes have lasted you. You do most of your dancing on mine. - Ivy to Sid
 
It's fairly easy if they are C of V they tend to believe anything; Baptists, on the other hand, are a whole lot tougher.
 
Clegg describing his late wife's reaction to camping:

When we got home, she drank a scalding hot cup of tea and papered a ceiling.
 
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