Best one liners

[Beth]

Truly: I never looked like Shirley Temple ....except once when undercover for the vice squad.

 

[dick]

What barbarian doesn't like onion gravy

 

[Beth]

Excuse me! There's a carrot on the phone!

 

[me2]

Pearl to Howard - Brighten up. You look like a collapsed lung

 

[me2]

No wonder them shoes have lasted you. You do most of your dancing on mine. - Ivy to Sid

 

[Beth]

I'm concerned your body will merge with your overalls.

 

[Beth]

I'm Muscle Man - the oven cleaner.

 

[onyx(John)]

Clegg; I think I can hear my kettle boiling.
Marina; Doesn't surprise me at all Norman!

 

[onyx(John)]

The world was his oyster 'till he found a Pearl in it

 

[Beth]

Clegg; I think I can hear my kettle boiling.
Marina; Doesn't surprise me at all Norman!

Watching the same episode...

 

[Beth]

It's fairly easy if they are C of V they tend to believe anything; Baptists, on the other hand, are a whole lot tougher.

 

[onyx(John)]

My Wally was no good at ceilings, he was scarcely tall enough for skirting boards.

 

[Beth]

How can a suit attract blondes!

 

[dick]

The pain comes when I stand to attention Doctor

 

[dick]

At least your shakes have gone!

 

[dick]

Oh goody I can use me saucer again

 

[dick]

A good route march would sort you out!

 

[me2]

We're doing this for Howard, companion, friend, idiot.

 

[Beth]

Oh that old mattress, I thought we were still talking about Nora Batty.

 

[Marianna]

Clegg describing his late wife's reaction to camping:

When we got home, she drank a scalding hot cup of tea and papered a ceiling.