jokes bad or otherwise.

"Could I have this gift-wrapped, please?" I said to the woman at the checkout.
"I don't think so, sir," she said.
"But your shop offers to do it every Christmas! Everyone is getting things wrapped up! Why won't you do it for me?"
"That's a tin of spaghetti hoops, sir."
 
Wife "Does my bum look big in this dress?"
Husband "Love,your bum would look big in Wembley Stadium"
Doctors say he should be able to close his legs again in a few weeks.
 
I hate Christmas shopping! Just spent 45 minutes in a queue only to be told that you cant get gift vouchers in Poundland.
 
My daughter asked my advice on how to deal with unwanted sexual advances."That's easy" I said,"Get married".
 
Jim and his mate Dan were in the pub doing crosswords , Jim said to Dan "I've finished except for the last clue" " Whats that then?? "Dan said. "Very tired postman" said Jim "Are there any letters?"said Dan ." Bloody hundreds!" relied Jim ;D
 
Never, NEVER, NEVER ,
under any circumstances,
take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on
the same night!
 
Your wife.

Gets angry faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than your longest friendships. Leaps your decisions in a single bound.
 
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