jokes bad or otherwise.

Sir Alex Ferguson has been honoured by having a road named after him outside Old Trafford.
Away fans are advised when driving down Sir Alex Ferguson Way, don't forget to add 9 minutes to your journey.
 
George said:
Sir Alex Ferguson has been honoured by having a road named after him outside Old Trafford.
Away fans are advised when driving down Sir Alex Ferguson Way, don't forget to add 9 minutes to your journey.
Click to expand...

Alan Shearer got there first:

1380281_736616613020619_611451038_n_zps0d228757.png
 
One day a bloke goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon.
He pours from the bottle onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.
"Could you taste this for me, please?"
The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it.
"Does that taste sweet to you?" says the man.
"No, not at all," says the chemist.
"Oh that's a relief," says the man. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."
 
George said:
One day a bloke goes into a pharmacy - reaches into his pocket and takes out a small Irish whiskey bottle and a teaspoon.
He pours from the bottle onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist.
"Could you taste this for me, please?"
The chemist takes the teaspoon, puts it in his mouth, swills the liquid around and swallows it.
"Does that taste sweet to you?" says the man.
"No, not at all," says the chemist.
"Oh that's a relief," says the man. "The doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar."
Click to expand...
Love it George ;D ;D ;D
 
All I'm saying is, if this country really cared about it's people with psychological disorders,
They wouldn't be letting them run the government.
 
I've been invited to my mother-in-law's Halloween party. All my wife's family will be there, wearing crazy costumes.
I wasn't sure what to go as, but then I saw an advert for the new series of The Walking Dead, and it gave me a great idea.
I'll stay in and watch that instead.
 
If Polish people only do the English jobs that nobody else wants..
How come Sunderland have never had a Polish manager?
 
Stuff British Gas, I bought a McDonalds apple pie which has heated the whole house for the last 3 days.
We've even opened a few windows it's so hot.
 
George said:
Stuff British Gas, I bought a McDonalds apple pie which has heated the whole house for the last 3 days.
We've even opened a few windows it's so hot.
Click to expand...

I do realise that I am probably being totally thick but I just don't get this one. Did I miss some story about McDonald's apple pie? I do recall one US compensation claim idiocy where a woman (I think) sued a fast food chain because her takeaway coffee was too hot and she crashed her car when it scalded her tongue. And even sillier, she won her case.
 
Big Unc said:
George said:
Stuff British Gas, I bought a McDonalds apple pie which has heated the whole house for the last 3 days.
We've even opened a few windows it's so hot.
Click to expand...

I do realise that I am probably being totally thick but I just don't get this one. Did I miss some story about McDonald's apple pie? I do recall one US compensation claim idiocy where a woman (I think) sued a fast food chain because her takeaway coffee was too hot and she crashed her car when it scalded her tongue. And even sillier, she won her case.
Click to expand...

Their apple pies have a reputation for being very hot :)
 
BBC News: FA accused over all-white commission
Roy Hodgson: "We don't want them to be alwight. We want them to be weally good."
 
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