jokes bad or otherwise.

[maltrab]

THE chap in the Glasgow pub last night told his fellow topers: "Did you see that it was so cold in Northern America that the town of Hell froze over?"

"I'm away home then," announced one of his pals. "You'll never guess what the wife promised me if that ever happened."

;D ;D ;D

 

[George]

A man has been shot with a starting pistol...
Police say it is definitely race related.

 

[George]

I've recently been a stunt man in a couple of films.
Nothing major, just a couple of small rolls.

 

[George]

My mate's girlfriend was dancing on a table in the club.
"Good legs," I said to him.
"Do you really think so?," he asked.
"Yes," I replied, "most other tables would've collapsed under that weight."

 

[Big Unc]

Just for all you guys on the other side of the pond enjoying the snow:

 

[Beth]

Thank you Big Unc. ;D

 

[George]

As I waited for my Sunday lunch, I pondered the crossword."Fifteen down, six letters, starting with b," I said. "To present as an honour, to gift."
"Do you want gravy?" asked my wife.
"Aah, bestow."

 

[dick]

As I waited for my Sunday lunch, I pondered the crossword."Fifteen down, six letters, starting with b," I said. "To present as an honour, to gift."
"Do you want gravy?" asked my wife.
"Aah, bestow."

;D ;D ;D

 

[George]

I have just had my computer credit score:
Bills 37 - Wages 1.

 

[George]

Thought I had £707 in my bank account, turns out I was holding my statement upside down. it was "LOL"

 

[George]

When I go to someone's house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don't like visitors.

 

[George]

So apparently 1 in 2 smokers die..
The other one lives forever.

 

[George]

I just destroyed most of the furniture in the house.
But on a positive note, that spider is dead.

 

[Elmc]

omgosh . . . GEORGE !!! Thank you. :dance: ;D

 

[George]

Dear Maths
I am sick and tired of finding your 'X'. Please except she has left you, move on dude

 

[Big Unc]

Dear Maths
I am sick and tired of finding your 'X'. Please except she has left you, move on dude

Reminds me of the old blonde joke:

 

[Pearl]

Dear Maths
I am sick and tired of finding your 'X'. Please except she has left you, move on dude

Reminds me of the old blonde joke:

Arr so we're doing blonde jokes today are we? :
On behalf of us blondes

 

[Elmc]

Three blondes walked into a building . . . you would think ONE of them would've seen it.

 

[Pearl]

Three blondes walked into a building . . . you would think ONE of them would've seen it.

And the onslaught begins

 

[George]

My mate Dave has drunk many weird and wonderful things in his time.
I asked him if he'd ever drunk cologne.
"No," he replied. "Always with mates."