jokes bad or otherwise.

If Ronnie Biggs had been robbing today,
He could have stopped that train by bunging a few leaves on the track....
 
Made me think of Compo:

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:merrychristmas: :merrychristmas: :merrychristmas: :merrychristmas: :merrychristmas:
 
My favorite comic character. I have 28 of his paperbacks............................
 
Well almost a year has passed since the end of the world and I am wondering is it safe to come out of my shelter,
 
A policeman knocked on my door last night.
He looked at me with a tear in his eye and said, "I've got some bad news."
"You poor sod," I said, "Come in and I'll make you a cup of tea."
 
My mate says his wife asked for a surprise for Christmas.
So he's invited his girlfriend around for Christmas dinner.
 
Doctor: You have two years to live.
Man: What should I do?
Doc: Get married as soon as possible.
Man: Will that make me live longer?
Doc: No, but it will seem like it.
 
"I did carol singing for the first time this Christmas, Dave."
"Yeh? How did it go?"
"We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year."
 
Scientists have announced they have found a new gene that causes shyness.
Apparently it was there all along, just hiding behind two other genes
 
There was a knock on my door and when I opened it a councillor was outside.
She said, "Do you like tents?"
"No," I replied. "Why?"
"Well," she said. "We're canvassing the whole area."
 
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