jokes bad or otherwise.

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When
I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....
 
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought
to myself, they've lost the plot!!
 
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our
local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought, I can get one
cheaper off the web.
 
I was driving this morning when I saw an AA van parked up. The driver
was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to
myself that guy's heading for a breakdown.
 
Local Police hunting the 'knitting needle nutter', who has stabbed six
people in the village in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could
be following some kind of pattern.
 
Phil arrived in the South of France for a holiday. His wife was to join him the following day .On arrival he sent her an email to let her know he'd arrived. Not being the best with technology his email finished on the phone of a new widow.
She opened it read it and immediately fainted. Her daughter managed to bring her round and then read the email.

"Darling, got here safely. Looking forward to your arrival tomorrow,Just to let you know its REALLY hot down here!!08[1].gif
 
Schoolboy howler..........
The patron saint of Ireland is St Patrick , The patron saint of Britain is Union Jack!:roflmao:
 
Teacher.........."Why weren't you at school yesterday?" Boy ..........."Please sir , I swallowed some wool!"

Teacher ..........."What makes you think I'll believe that yarn??":20:
 
Schoolboy Howler............
People and things from the Far East are called Ornamental. People and things from the West are called Accidental.!:thumbsup:
 
Easy way to tell if your hair is receding....................
If it takes longer to wash your face, your hair is receding!:roflmao:
 
Doctor Doctor. I feel like a pair of curtains. Doctor say's pull yourself together man. (Sorry)
 
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did you hear about Harrison Ford's brother he went on a date with R2D2's sister he was taking her for a nice meal and hoped she would come back to his flat for a bit of :08::08::08::08::08::08::08:
 
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